Operation Raider Sleigh Ride

Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a loaded weapon. Most of the soldiers had the day off, or part of the day off. But the MPs and I got screwed. We had a mission to go out on. Well, I won't really call it a mission, since there was absolutely nothing going on that could possibly be considered fighting the war on terrorism. We drove to this shit hole called Nasser wa Salam, where the flies are King to play volleyball. It was part of Operation Raider Sleigh Ride. The Army likes to name important missions. So you don't have to say, that one time, you can call it by name. This one got a "cute" name that made me want to vomit.

Luckily we were back on post by dinner. The DFAC (Dining Facility-- the Army and their damn acronyms!) always tries to make meals special on holidays. I had carved turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, macaroni and cheese and peach cobbler. It was pretty good. And generally speaking, if everything on your plate is a shade of yellow or tan, it's going to be tasty.

My favorite part about the DFAC on holidays is the decorations. Hajji tries to decorate for us, but they are very confused about our holidays. So there are usually some questionable giant Styrofoam figures scattered around:

I'm not sure why Uncle Sam was there. He was actually there on Thanksgiving too. How nice of him to make two appearances. I pulled his finger.

President Obama was there, too! What celebrities the DFAC draws! I'm unclear why he was there, though. He was standing in front of a giant Styrofoam White House. He had toothpicks jammed into his skull to make his ears stick out. Giant Styrofoam replicas of your boss don't usually convey a big "Happy Holidays!" but Hajji was trying, I guess.

And then I found a creepy manger with baby Jesus in it lit up with Christmas lights. It was the only real Christmas thing in the DFAC. Baby Jesus was crying... so I gave him something else to cry about by biting his foot. There were a lot of other random things like mermaids, turtles and pilgrims (an obvious throw back from Thanksgiving). Hajji is very confused. But it gives me a lot of joy. If joy is the meaning of Christmas, then it was achieved. Merry Christmas... from Iraq, with love!!