Foot Treatment

I found this picture on Facebook and it intrigued me:
 

Looks relaxing.

 

I'm skeptical. This could be because I am biased. I have THE WORST Army feet. My feet are always cracking and peeling. Skin absolutely refuses to stay alive and healthy on my feet. James has nicer feet than me and he's with the Infantry. My feet are disgusting.

I figured I'd give it a shot. Put it to the test. If it didn't work, oh well, the only ingredient I had to go out and buy was vinegar. If it did work, then the skin sloughing party would at least be medically interesting.

So I mixed it all up. I tripled the recipe since this concoction is obviously for people with a normal amount of dead skin on their feet. I sat on the couch and dunked my feet. It smelled really... strong. Picasso didn't want anything to do with it and it kinda hurt my eyes to be so close to it.

 

Slightly less spa-like.

 

Stupidly, I started this experiment while James was out of the house and I didn't get a towel out beforehand. So I was stuck in the stinky water for way longer than the recommended 10 minutes. After about a half an hour, my feet started to dye blue from the mouthwash. No! Blue feet were not what I was going for!

 

I did what I had to do, I scooted on my butt into my kitchen while pushing the bin with my feet ahead of me. Slowly, as to not slosh this stinky liquid everywhere.

After I scooted all the way to the stove and wiped my feet off with the hand towel, I anxiously inspected my feet for signs of dead skin I could "wipe away".

Pffffffft. What a rip off. All I was left with was a bunch of blue dead skin all over my feet. I guess I'm going to have to go get a professional pedicure tomorrow and horrify the ladies with my gross blue Army feet.

They didn't picture very blue, but BELIEVE me, they're blue!

 

 

Ice!

Mom and Dad came to visit for Christmas this year! So I took them to Nashville for the first time the day after Christmas. We went to the Grand Ole Opry to see the Ice! exhibit. Every year it's a different theme and this year it was Frosty the Snowman.

Ice! is an ice sculpture walk through held in a 9 degree event building behind the hotel. There were light blue parkas that were being handed out to everyone before you enter the exhibit, but Dad was the only one who was willing to play along with that. James, Mom and I decided being cold was better than wearing someone else's coat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The exhibit was really cool! I've never seen anything like it. It was cold, obviously more so for the three of us who refused the parka. And busy, obviously since it was the day after Christmas. But very fun. There were even ice slides you could go down. We did not slide, however, as we are all a bunch of Scrooges.

Cancer?

Today I decided I have cancer of the neck. I told my best friend, Rosie, and she immediately freaked out, like a best friend is likely to do. I tried to take a picture of it, to prove my cancerous bump was indeed what I believed it to be: cancer.

 

It didn't photograph well. In fact, it didn't photograph at all.

 

 

I have a small bump on the back of my neck, which, unfortunately, refused to photograph. I don't have any way to prove to the internet masses that it actually exists. Other than taking my word as a medical professional...

 

Luckily, I live with another medical professional, and James' diagnosis was an ingrown hair.

 

Pffft. I'm remaining firm in my self diagnosis of cancer.

Christmas Party

My Battalion Christmas party was a few days ago on Friday night. Although not officially mandatory fun, my Platoon Sergeant told us it was HIGHLY encouraged and then assigned us items to bring. This made the event mandatory.

I was assigned to bring stuffing. So I went to Walmart and bought 4 boxes of Stove Top stuffing for $1.75 per box and whipped that greatness up for my contribution to the party.

The Christmas party was blah. James and I didn't really want to be there. I made sure I spoke to my Battalion Command Sergeant Major and Commander. I also made it a point to talk to my First Sergeant and Platoon Sergeant to ensure important people in my chain of command saw my face at the party. We left without eating. I abandoned my stuffing.

When I went back to work on Monday, a lot of the Christmas decorations were still hanging around in the motorpool bay. I don't recall this particular decoration during the party, but it must have been there. Behold, the creepiest Christmas decoration in existence:

 

Look at it's eyes!!

I think it's a snowman. I'm sure it looked better at the party. Perhaps the examination gloves were less deflated... and maybe the nose wasn't so dreadfully out of proportion. However it looked originally is completely unknown to me. But it's sitting in front of my supply cage and now it's absolutely horrifying. I can't wait for Christmas to be over so someone will clean this scary thing up!!

3 More Years

Well... the Army is getting 3 more years of service from me.

 

 

I reenlisted today, on Friday the 13th, right before Battalion Suicide Stand Up day. I figured I'd need all that suicide prevention training I could get after signing my life over to Uncle Sam for 3 more years.

 

Just kidding!

 

I had my favorite nurse, Major Perkins, reenlist me today. She's been one of the best mentors and biggest inspiration I have had while being stationed at Fort Campbell. I'm really honored she took time out to participate in my ceremony. She kicks ass!

 

My reenlistment opportunities were slim this go around. The only options I had were needs of the Army (which is just as scary as it sounds-- it gives the Army permission to do just about anything to you) or stabilization (which will keep me in my current unit at Fort Campbell for 12 months). I chose stabilization. It's not like it really mattered. I'm going to be in Egypt for the majority of my stabilization.

 

I'm so proud to serve another 3 years, and can't wait for my next reenlistment window to open so I can reenlist to be indefinite in the Army and complete a 20 year career. Hooah! Go Army!

9 Inches Lighter

James and I went home to Iowa to see my parents for Thanksgiving. We had a really nice holiday. While I was home, I went shopping with Mom on Black Friday. It's not what you're thinking. We didn't wake up at 0300 to assault Walmart or wait in line outside Best Buy. No, instead we went out around noon and went to Pier 1 Imports and Kohls. The rush of crazy deal seekers had passed by the time we started shopping. I got a super cute yellow purse and a hair cut.

 

I've been wanting to cut my hair for a while. My hair was excessively long. So long that the ends would curl because they rested in my lap when I sat down. Having long hair is really cool looking but it's not really cool to find 2 foot hairs everywhere in the house. I find hair woven into my clothes from the dryer. I find hair floating through the air. I find hair in the refrigerator! It's everywhere.

 

I cut 9 inches of hair off.

 

 

I feel so light without the hair. And for the first few days I really liked it. But now that I've gone back to work and have to wear it in a bun, I regret cutting it so short. I have a tiny ridiculous bun on the back of my head now. I wear a bun way more often than not, so I will be growing my hair back to the excessive length it was.

 

I'm still finding 2 foot long hairs everywhere in the house, but eventually that will pass. And eventually my hair will be really long again and I can bitch about finding it in the fridge and start this vicious cycle all over again.