Military Ball

My unit had it's annual Military Ball yesterday evening. Yes, that made the Ball on a Thursday. Attendance at the Ball earned you a day off the next day. But I don't work for the unit-- I am borrowed military manpower (BMM) and they still had daily operations to conduct on Friday. No biggie. I asked for a late start (0900) so I could try to sleep off the copious amount of booze I knew I would consume at the Ball.

And I did not disappoint. 

I am glad that we took our photo before I got completely hammered. But I wish someone would have told me I looks 105 years old with my shawl on. I would have removed it for the photo. Since no one informed me, I absolutely hate the photo and I won't make the Internet look at it. 

Look at this instead!

Completely hammered I did get though. I made it through the receiving line to greet my Battalion Commander and Battalion Command Sergeant Major sober enough. The grog ceremony was memorable. But after I drank the grog, it was all down hill. I sort of recall dinner. James had ham on his plate and the mashed potatoes were off the hook. That's really all I can say about dinner. 

Me and my battle, Tracy

We had to leave before 2130 (9:30 pm). I told James it was time to go because it was time to vomit and I did not want to vomit at the event venue in a $200 dress. I would much prefer to vomit in the privacy of my own home in Nike shorts and a hoodie. Which is exactly what I did. Oh there was so much vomiting, 

And so much working the next day. 0900 was not late enough. I was pretty much worthless at work today. The Ball was fun though (from my booze hazed recollection). 

Christmas Party

My Battalion Christmas party was a few days ago on Friday night. Although not officially mandatory fun, my Platoon Sergeant told us it was HIGHLY encouraged and then assigned us items to bring. This made the event mandatory.

I was assigned to bring stuffing. So I went to Walmart and bought 4 boxes of Stove Top stuffing for $1.75 per box and whipped that greatness up for my contribution to the party.

The Christmas party was blah. James and I didn't really want to be there. I made sure I spoke to my Battalion Command Sergeant Major and Commander. I also made it a point to talk to my First Sergeant and Platoon Sergeant to ensure important people in my chain of command saw my face at the party. We left without eating. I abandoned my stuffing.

When I went back to work on Monday, a lot of the Christmas decorations were still hanging around in the motorpool bay. I don't recall this particular decoration during the party, but it must have been there. Behold, the creepiest Christmas decoration in existence:

 

Look at it's eyes!!

I think it's a snowman. I'm sure it looked better at the party. Perhaps the examination gloves were less deflated... and maybe the nose wasn't so dreadfully out of proportion. However it looked originally is completely unknown to me. But it's sitting in front of my supply cage and now it's absolutely horrifying. I can't wait for Christmas to be over so someone will clean this scary thing up!!

3 More Years

Well... the Army is getting 3 more years of service from me.

 

 

I reenlisted today, on Friday the 13th, right before Battalion Suicide Stand Up day. I figured I'd need all that suicide prevention training I could get after signing my life over to Uncle Sam for 3 more years.

 

Just kidding!

 

I had my favorite nurse, Major Perkins, reenlist me today. She's been one of the best mentors and biggest inspiration I have had while being stationed at Fort Campbell. I'm really honored she took time out to participate in my ceremony. She kicks ass!

 

My reenlistment opportunities were slim this go around. The only options I had were needs of the Army (which is just as scary as it sounds-- it gives the Army permission to do just about anything to you) or stabilization (which will keep me in my current unit at Fort Campbell for 12 months). I chose stabilization. It's not like it really mattered. I'm going to be in Egypt for the majority of my stabilization.

 

I'm so proud to serve another 3 years, and can't wait for my next reenlistment window to open so I can reenlist to be indefinite in the Army and complete a 20 year career. Hooah! Go Army!

EFMB Fort Campbell: Written Exam

I took the EFMB written exam today. I went into the test very confident. I was the first one in my classroom to finish (in only 20 minutes). As everyone finished and joined me in the holding area, we started discussing all of the 60 questions we could recall. Typical Army test protocol... I started feeling less confident as I compared my answers.

Formation for all 4 platoons was held roughly an hour later. Like always, there were way more no-go's than go's so just the roster numbers of the go's were called out in numerical order. My roster number is 417. It didn't take very long to get to my number. But it was called. Woot! 417 is a go for the written test!

 

Only 42 candidates out of 150 passed the written exam and 19 of those candidates were in the 86th CSH. We are dominating as a platoon.

One task down, 3 lanes and land nav to go!

ER Rotation

So I've been on an Emergency Room rotation at Blanchfield Army Community Hospital (BACH) at Fort Campbell for the past week and a half. I only get a total of 2 weeks of training/experience in the ER to prepare me for my deployment to Egypt in January. In case you were wondering, that is not nearly enough time in an ER to get prepared. Unfortunately, because of our unit's training schedule and the upcoming EFMB, that is all the time we have been afforded.

 

Also, unfortunately, BACH is the worst ER in Central Tennessee. When I say worst, I mean, when people have free health care (like you do in the Army), they will go to the ER for EVERYTHING. EV-ERY-THANG. When someone checks into the ER, their chief complaint, name and SSN get entered into a tracking system that you can see on the computers. Just so you know whose it each bed and whose waiting to be seen in the waiting room. Some of the chief complaints that show up are absolutely ridiculous and should under no circumstance be considered ER worthy. Such as:

 

o possible broken toe

o scabies x6 weeks

o rash

o child in fight x2 days ago

o abscess x4 weeks

 

I feel really bad for all the civilian health care providers out there who are waiting to see if ObamaCare is passed. Once health care is cheap/free for the general public, the ER waiting rooms are going to be packed for the same dumb, time wasting bullshit that military ERs see.

 

Just because it's free, doesn't mean you need to abuse it. Go to sick call. Suck it up. Be responsible.

 

On another note, one of the cooler things I've gotten to do in the ER is remove this toenail that was stubbed so hard it ripped the toenail up:

 

 

Gotta love toenail removals. Unless, of course, you are the removee. No one likes to be on the receiving end of that mess.

Passport

 

Today I had to apply for a government passport. I think I'm going to have to turn in my current civilian passport to get the government passport issued to me, but its really not a huge deal since the only time I go abroad is with the military.

 

"So why do you need a government passport, anyway," you ask. Well let me tell you. A small group of Soldiers of the Combat Support Hospital has been tasked to occupy a few clinics in the Sinai Peninsula, Egypt. I am on the primary list to deploy early 2014.

 

Normally, I wouldn't start talking about something like this when it is so far away. Especially since I do not yet have orders in my hot little hands. But applying for the passport today made it seem completely real to me. So let's all keep our fingers crossed that this mission stays locked in and I'll soon be abroad again.

My Ball

Yesterday was my Battalion Military Ball. It was themed Masquerade. Even though I was part of the Ball committee, there were just some things we could not get vetoed and the theme was one of them. Oh well, lets not dwell on that. I was in charge of making all 25 of the center pieces. Aren't they just neat?

 

They probably aren't neat, but I made them, so I'm calling them neat.

 

The Ball was held in Nashville at the Renaissance Hotel. It was a really upscale venue. James and I got a room in the hotel, too, so we could go out downtown after the event. James cleaned up really nice. I was really proud to have such a handsome date. Also, he wore his jump boots with his uniform since he's in 101st and looked way cooler than all the CSH dudes in their low quarters.

 

What a handsome Soldier!

 

I'm sure I cleaned up well but I didn't take a picture of myself. We took a professional picture (like a prom picture) that showcased my dress, but I don't have those pictures yet. I will post them as soon as I do. One thing I can say, I was complimented many times on my dress. And the curls in my hair turned out super fancy.

 

You can kinda see how fancy my hair is.

 

The Ball was fine. It wasn't something to jump up and down about and get really excited over. But it was neat, and nice to see people out in their finest. Not too bad for my first Ball. But I would have liked to have seen more tradition and less unorthodox mumbo-jumbo. For instance, next time, I pray there will not be a "surprise" Harlem Shake. Although the theme was Masquerade, I did not wear a mask. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. But, I'll go to another Ball for sure. I like to support the unit any way I can, even when it's not exactly my scene.

48 Months

 

The Army Times is in no way the official word... but it's coming. 48 months at a duty station will become the standard. It's cheaper for the Army to not pay to move people around as often as they have been. My reenlistment window opens in October. Let's hope whatever place James and I choose to go to next will land us in a good unit, because we are going to be there a loooong while.

 

In other news, I am being moved around within my current unit this Tuesday. No longer will I be with the Area Support Medical Company. I will be handed off to Bravo Company in the main Combat Support Hospital. The job will be very different from what I have been doing the last 2 years. Let's keep our fingers crossed I enjoy it... or at least learn a lot.  

Area Beautification

My Company went to the field over the last 4 days to practice hospital and medical chemical operations. During the first day, Evac peeled off while Treatment set up the hospital tents to take care of our own business. True, Evac doesn't have nearly as much to set up, but we still have things to do... like set up the camo nets, and cut the grass down beneath them...

Weed eating in the field. OMG.

 

Who does area beautification in the back 40 of Fort Campbell?? Medical assets, that's who!!

 

And, in perfect Evac fashion, the Soldier weed eating is the only Mexican Soldier in the platoon. He volunteered, I swear. Haha. I love this platoon!

NCO of the Quarter

And the results are in...! The winner of the Battalion NCO of the Year competition is.... NOT ME!

 

But it's not all bad news. I took second place. I only lost by 9 points. We were told the race was incredibly close, and that was the truth! So, since I took second place, I was awarded the title NCO of the Quarter and an AAM (Army Achievement Medal).

 

Say whaaaaaat?? My unit gave an impact award!? That's right they did!

 



NCO of the Year Competition

Somehow, I was roped into competing in the Battalion NCO of the Year Competition. I say somehow, but I know exactly how I got involved; my Command Sergeant Major volunteered me. Yes, I was voluntold.

This competition took place over 2 days. My competitors included 3 male NCOs and 2 female NCOs.

Yesterday, Day 1, we were given a written exam. It consisted of 70 questions. Not multiple choice: (which is the usual Army way) it was Q & A. The test included pretty obscure Army questions. I honestly left a lot of blanks blank.
 

Then we were taken to an urban land navigation course. We were to find 8 points and do a graded task at each point. I ended up walking approximately 15 miles between tasks. It took me 6 and a half hours. Yesterday was 82 degrees. I wanted to kill myself.
 

This is me wanting to die on Day 1.

Day 2 began this morning with a Combatives Tournament. I loathe combatives. Especially when you roll in poison ivy. I had 3 bouts, and managed to win 1. Immediately following combatives, we rucked up and did a 4.5 mile road march. We were warned we would cross a creek along the way. However, when I found the creek, it was actually a river due to all the rain we've gotten in the past week. Once I waded through the river, I set myself up to have wet socks and boots the rest of the day.

Hallelujah, the road march ended and I was able to sit. While sitting I was given a map and 8 more grid coordinates. The most awesome part about this was there were only 5 tasks... but you'd have to walk to all 8 points to ensure it was a point with a task, or just a dummy point that wasted your time. Really, this was not fun. Once again, 82 degrees.

My most hated part of Day 2, was when I stumbled upon my 2nd point. The task at my 2nd point was a PT test. After all the walking and rucking, the last thing in the world I wanted to do was run 2 miles. It took me 20 freaking minutes to run 2 miles! I scored a measly 212 points on the PT test! Immediately following the PT test, I was ushered to the oral board. Sweaty, out of breath and exhausted, somehow I scraped my way through oral board.

I finished the land navigation and tasks the second fastest out of the NCOs. It still took me 4 hours.
 

The winner of the competition will not be announced until Friday. That is two days away! I am not counting on winning, but I'm also not counting winning completely out. The Sergeant First Class who was running this event said all of our scores were very close, and this could really be any one's win.
 

So let's keep our fingers crossed I did well. I could really use a win (or even a second place), after all the losses I have endured at the EFMB.

Spring?

I am quite aware the current season is Spring. However, I don't think Mother Nature got the memo. The Fort Campbell area had a very mild Winter. I gauge that based on the number of late starts and days off we had due to inclement weather. We had maybe 3 late starts.

So when I woke up today to a snowy Winter wonderland, you can guess I was shocked! And even more shocked that I had to go to work! This isn't the natural order of things. It snows, people freak out, post closes. That's how it's supposed to go. What the heck happened this morning guys? Someone really dropped the ball.

 

Bldg 7020: The 501st ASMC

This is the most snow we've gotten all Winter! It's also the most snow we've gotten all Spring.

It snowed all day and its supposed to snow all night. Of course, the temperature is hovering right around 32 so it's not sticking to the roads like I would like it to. I'm keeping my fingers crossed we'll get a late start tomorrow.

EFMB: Refugee Camp

Today was my platoon's day to train on CTL 3 (combat testing lane 3). This is the lane with the majority of the evac tasks and takes the most physical effort.

Today was also the day it decided to down pour and be 35 degrees. We were all soaked to the bone, freezing our asses off, waiting for sweet death in a "warming tent". The warming tents were not hooked to a heater so there wasn't much warming going on in them. Also, there wasn't a floor installed in the tent so it flooded.

CTL 3 had a sweet obstacle where you have to crawl on your back under barbed wire-- which was completely flooded so you may as well have been swimming in near freezing muddy water. When I said that obstacle was sweet, I was lying. It was absolutely miserable.

Thank god training got indexed 3 hours early so we could go back to our sleeping stables, I mean tents, and change into warm dry clothes. But wouldn't you guess it!? The heaters were out in the tents, too.

So we got moved on to main post Fort Campbell and into the 86th CSH motorpool bay like relocated hurricane refugees:

 

It was so warm in the motorpool bay. However, it was strange to sleep on a wrestling mat.  The bay saved us from freezing to death, which I am super grateful for. And we got to shower! That was pretty rad-- although I'm sure it will be my ONLY shower in this 15 day event. I swear, every time I go to EFMB, the conditions get worse. I don't even want to know what crap I'd have to go through in the future if I don't get the badge this time!

EVAC. Represent.

Soaking wet all day! Yuck!

I have been in the Army 7 years. Not all at once, of course, since I foolishly got out of the Army for 3 years. (Turns out being a beach bum in San Diego does not pay the bills.) Anyhow, for 7 years I have been a medic. And as a medic, I have always had the pleasure of being in the Evacuation Platoon.

 

Well, when I was with the Combat Engineers, I wasn't necessarily considered EVAC. But when there are only 10 medics responsible for all the medical coverage for an entire battalion, you become an EVAC/TREATMENT hybrid. Like a TREVAC or an ETREAT. But since then, I have been strictly EVAC. Represent.

 

Anyway, the point I'm eventually going to make is that for 7 years I have been intimately involved with the Army's worst vehicle ever produced: the Field Litter Ambulance, or FLA.

 

 

These trucks are the biggest POS the Army has ever given me (over and over again) the pleasure to work with. First off, I have never seen one that was newer than a 1980's model. And not even a late model, these things are nearly as old as me. Secondly, if I don't have to jump 1 of my 8 FLAs once a week, a miracle has happened. They're falling apart. All of them.

 

Today I gave a class those in the CSH who do not deal with these beasts on the regular: in the pouring rain. They always say, It ain't training if it ain't raining. I try to never utter that sentence, but the rest of my Army counterparts love saying it.

 

It's hard to get people motivated to hoist 200lb people by hand into these vehicles in the pouring rain. I seem to find myself giving these sorts of classes frequently. Somehow in these past 7 years, an invisible stamp has been put on me that will forever link me to this damned vehicle. When do I get my chance to sit in the TREATMENT tent and stay dry or warm or cool? I'm always in the field doing the lifting or sweating or on the fly mechanic work.

 

But I'm really not bitter. I love being in the EVAC family. I always have. We are where the hard work happens and I'm proud of my Soldiers.

 

7 years with the FLA... and I probably have 7 more ahead of me!

In The Closet

I'm on 24 hour battalion staff duty right now. But since I had to report to my unit 4 hours early yesterday to do Army stuff in the sun, my shift is realistically 28 hours long. It's times like right now that I hate math.

So anyhow, I was wandering around battalion headquarters around 0300 willing myself to stay awake when I came across this little sign posted beside a seemingly ordinary closet:

What the heck is in that closet!? And more importantly, am I going to be shot for taking a picture of this sign? The closet is in the center of the building; what type of vehicle could possibly fit in there? What is the installation commander hiding? And really, am I going to be shot?

Whatever it is, it's pretty clever to hide it in a broom closet. Most people would assume this high speed warning was simply misplaced upon the wrong wall in quite possibly the wrong building. But my sharp reasoning skills at this hour have allowed me to see past that nonsense.

Something is going down at the 86th Combat Support Hospital. Something BIG. (But not so big that it won't fit in a closet.)

I'm going to down another 5 Hour Energy shot now. I've got to tweak out my brain to make it through my remaining 4 hours of duty. You know, before I'm allowed to drive my car home after being awake for approximately 30 hours. Ah Army, you put up a good front of being concerned about safety, but I'm on to you.

Physical Abuse

I reported to my new unit yesterday. I was told that, although I am associated with the 86th Combat Support Hospital, I have nothing to do with the 86th Combat Support Hospital. Also, I found out that I am actually attached to a unit out of Fort Hood, Texas (not Fort Campbell) and we are chemical and natural disaster responders. My unit is a unit full of nothing but medics, yet, we do not have an aid station. We do not have Docs to work under. We do not do anything medical until we deploy. We'd deploy with zero real life experience. I know that's hard to grasp, but it's the Army we're talking about here; it doesn't have to make sense, you just execute.

I was placed in the Evacuation Platoon once again. I must have pissed someone off once upon a time.

The first thing my platoon sergeant said to me once we met was, "How's your PT score?" That fills fear in my heart. If that is his #1 concern about his new NCO coming to his platoon, he is very physically oriented. I am not what you would call an athlete, by any stretch of the imagination. I get by. I don't have the genes to excel with raw physical power. This dude is going to physically abuse my body every morning and call it training.

And I am scared.

The CSH? I Think Not!

Admittedly, January hasn't been an active month of blogging. It's been an active month of stupid bullshit gifted to me from the Army which has consumed most of my free time. Nothing out of the ordinary as bullshit goes, just seemingly more of it.

In the midst of the Army piling on my NCO duties, I am dealing with my PCS to Fort Campbell, KY. I have my orders! My actual in writing paper orders. I was really excited until I saw the pin point I was assigned to: the CSH. That stands for Combat Support Hospital. I am horrified by this turn of events. It's going to be nothing but girls and officers. And girl officers. To make things worse, the CSH I am assigned to is also deployed. I am unable to deploy until September when my dwell time is completed, so I will be on rear detachment. For anyone who is unsure what rear detachment comprises of, it's everyone who was unable to deploy for whatever reason. Pregnancy, Soldiers pending legal action, known drug offenders... the list of undesirables goes on. Oh boy.

So immediately my brain is scrambling for a way to get out of this situation. Nothing was coming to mind. I was about to lie down and just take it when, like a beacon of heavenly light, a man stepped into my life and handed me his business card. He was a CID agent, and he was offering me a job. I had impressed him in the interview I had given him earlier. He was extending me an opportunity I couldn't refuse. A few days later, I met with the head NCO over at the CID office on Fort Lewis and he interviewed me. He said he will do whatever is necessary to help me put together my CID packet and reclass out of being a Medic and towards being a Federal Agent. And he'd do it all while still guaranteeing I will go to Fort Campbell in the end.

It all is happening so fast! I'm really excited about this opportunity. There is still a lot that needs to be done and a few hurdles that need to be conquered. Hopefully everything checks out and I am able to reclass from 68W to 31D.