Appreciation

I finished a 2 day CLS class with the Civilian Observer Unit today. Almost everyone who is a part of the COU is either a retired COL or CSM. I thought they were going to be a tough crowd. But they were an awesome class. They asked a lot of good questions, and were very engaged. One guy (who is from Iowa) even volunteered to let me put an NPA in his nose. I can hardly get Soldiers to volunteer to do it (luckily I can just force them to do it). So he was an impressive trooper.

 

 

At the end of the class, they presented me and my assistant junior Medic Certificates of Appreciation. I thought that was really cool that they would take the time out to do that. No one has done this for me before, and I am a CLS teaching machine! Even though this particular type of certificate does not generate any promotion points for my Medic, it's still very encouraging to be recognized like that. And the coin we were both given glows in the dark-- how rad is that?

 

 

I also was recognized by the FOC (Force Operation Center) for making valid medical points a few days ago during the camp wide AAR (after action review) regarding the MASCAL exercise. My Commander was emailed about my professionalism and my dedication to getting these civilians trained up so quickly after the exercise. Unbeknownst to them, this class had been scheduled a month earlier... but whatever. It made me seem pretty high speed.

 

It was a good day for stroking my ego. Sometimes you need a day like today to remind you why you work so hard 14 hours a day. People appreciate that shit.

MASCAL Exercise

It is the weekend. I spent the majority of my day off at work observing medical skills. Not much of a day off, considering I woke up at 0400 to do this.

But what was this really disrupting? What kind of personal life do I really have? I probably would have just sun bathed and watched Ancient Aliens all day....

So, the work I did was an MFO wide training event. It tested the reaction times and protocols of a lot of different contingents and agencies at North Camp and the surrounding remote sites. I convoyed to the remote site where the event took place. The event was a VBIED and a secondary IED blast. One of my Medics and I moulaged all the casualties and observed the medical skills of the Civilian Observer Unit and the Fijians.

As always, I saw some really crazy medical care. But not from the Fijians. I've taught enough classes to them over the past few months for them to basically be first responder rockstars. The civilians were a bit scarier today. Like, asking for permission to put a tourniquet on someone to stop their massive hemorrhage before helping them. What? Luckily, I conveniently have a CLS class scheduled for them this upcoming week.

 

Scary pressure dressings over non-splinted compound fractures.

 

This training event was high speed enough to involve the Aviation Company so we had real air MEDEVAC to request. We also used ground MEDEVAC. Some of my Medics drove an ambulance out to the remote site in a convoy to evacuate some casualties back to the dispensary for the rest of the clinic to receive. It was cool to get everyone involved.

 

MEDEVAC bird kicking up all kinds of sand.

 

The public affairs guys went out to the remote site with us to document the training exercise in film and photos. They interviewed me about the importance of good medical training, realistic looking moulage and my job as the senior CLS trainer. It was pretty cool. Maybe I'll be famous on a crappy AFN commercial someday. Haha.

 

I've been a CLS training fool since I arrived at the MFO, and my schedule for July absolutely does not let up. I'm in high demand and my Medics are in high demand; that's a great thing. Even if it reinforces my entire lack of a personal life.

Bye-Bye Pretty Lady

The Army changed the policy on tattoos back in March. I haven't said much about it because I didn't know how it was going to personally affect me. I am heavily tattooed, so I knew the time would eventually come when it would. The time is now.

 

The new rules are more strict. All our tattoos from the elbow down, knee down and neck up had to be officially documented and sent up to our Official Military Personnel File at HRC. Luckily, I was grandfathered in... for the most part. This is the part of the regulation that has a problem with me:

 

b. The following types of tattoos or brands are prejudicial to good order and discipline and are, therefore, prohibited anywhere on a Soldier’s body:

(1) Extremist. Extremist tattoos or brands are those affiliated with, depicting, or symbolizing extremist philosophies, organizations, or activities. Extremist philosophies, organizations, and activities are those which advocate racial, gender, or ethnic hatred or intolerance; advocate, create, or engage in illegal discrimination based on race, color, gender, ethnicity, religion, or national origin; or advocate violence or other unlawful means of depriving individual rights under the U.S. Constitution, and Federal or State law (see AR 600–20).

(2) Indecent. Indecent tattoos or brands are those that are grossly offensive to modesty, decency, propriety, or professionalism.

(3) Sexist. Sexist tattoos or brands are those that advocate a philosophy that degrades or demeans a person based on gender.

(4) Racist. Racist tattoos or brands are those that advocate a philosophy that degrades or demeans a person based on race, ethnicity, or national origin.

 

My 1SG told me yesterday that after our tattoo documentation memos were sent back to Battalion at Fort Campbell, my CSM was worried about the tattoo on my left calf. He suspects it is considered a sexist tattoo.

 

 

My 1SG told me to get into the regulation and make myself smart about my situation. Really, it's one opinion VS another. Even if I convince the 86th CSH this tattoo is not sexist, every time I PCS and the tattoo gets reviewed by another command, I will have to fight again to prove its not a sexist tattoo and I had no intention of it being a sexist tattoo. This is an Americana tattoo, a reproduction of a famous Sailor Jerry tattoo.

 

My 1SG also told me a Drill Sergeant Candidate was just released from school because of pin-up style tattoos he had on his legs for the same reason: sexism. My biggest Army dream is to be a Drill Sergeant. I absolutely won't let a tattoo keep me from this dream.

 

I'll be removing this tattoo upon my return to the States. Does it suck, yes. Especially since this isn't even my worst tattoo!! I'd rather remove one that wasn't done well or that I don't like anymore. But these are the cards the Army just decided to deal me.

 

So much for saving money while I'm deployed. My savings account just turned into a tattoo removal fund.

War On Bugs

It turns out, they were more than just Chair Worms. They are also (soon to be) Back Of The Bookshelf Worms and Rug Worms.

When I came home from the Dispensary today, I found another freaking ant hill on my floor. My room is so full of poison I have no idea how they are finding a way to live in here. I don't know how I live in here. If I have children they will have birth defects because of the amount of Raid in this room.

Because of the ant hill, I was on hyper alert for bugs. I saw a little piece of dirt poking out from the side of the bookshelf and I just knew what it was before I even pulled the bookshelf away from the wall.

 

 

Another weird mud ant tunnel!! Luckily, when I chipped this one off my furniture it wasn't riddled with worms. Not yet. I swept up the ant dirt and moved the rug beside the bookshelf. And to my horror I found a mud tunnel within the actual rug!!

I was too disgusted by the mud tunnel running through one of the rugs I stand on every day to take a picture. Now I'm frantically doing laundry. Any piece of  cloth that might have touched the floor over the weekend is being washed.

This war on bugs has got to end.

'Merica

I just saw the most 'Merica truck that ever 'Merica'd.

 

 

I'd seen this truck before in the motorpool, when it was all black, and thought it would be the perfect vehicle to snatch up if the zombie apocalypse happened while I was in Egypt. It probably is still a good choice, even with the new paint job. But now I'd feel silly. Sure the zombies wouldn't judge me, but the other survivors would.

 

The only reason I can think of that this vehicle was painted so 'Merica is the upcoming 4th of July festivities. North Camp is really going all out for the holiday.

 

The stray cats seem to approve of the paint job, however. There are kitty foot prints in the dust all over it.

 

 

'Merica!!

 

I'll keep you posted if I see this truck serving any kind of purpose on the 4th of July. Right now it's just looking super 'Merica parked outside the library.

The Struggle Is Real

I've managed to lose 20 pounds since I've been deployed to Egypt. Now, this would be something to brag about had I not gained 20 pounds before I left the US. Fact.

I ate my feelings after my last failed attempt at EFMB. Between Thanksgiving and the first week of January I put on 20 pounds... that would almost be impressive had it not been because I was so depressed.

Beer and delicious food made me feel better after my epic failure. After my ACUs started fitting a little too snug, I realized that beer and delicious food were in fact a foe. How I looked didn't make me feel better. So I ditched the beer and delicious food (for the most part) for a life of DFAC food and 3 beers once a week.

I ended up losing 20 pounds in 4 months. Crazy it took like 40 days to put it on. Weight loss should be just as easy as weight gain. It's a cruel joke that it's not.

Well anyway, since I'm technically at square 1, now that I'm at my usual weight, continued weight loss has been a challenge. I've been at my current weight for a month. I haven't changed anything up. The weight loss has just stopped happening.

I had to resort to drastic measures and actually cut out sweet and delicious pies, cakes and candies. I never wanted my life to be this way. It's a struggle. It's more than a struggle... I'm besides myself with the desire to stuff all kinds of sugary items in my mouth until I have a horrible stomach ache and have to lie down for a bit.

 

 

Sick that this is the feeling I long for! I might have an addiction to cherry pie. And probably to Twix bars. Oh, and definitely to white chocolate-- oh yeah, for sure white chocolate.

I'm going to try out this lifestyle change for a few weeks (I do have a pretty good support system here) and if I don't lose any weight, I'm quitting and going hard core on some sugar cookies.

The struggle is real.

I Gagged, For Realz

O-M-G. Can it even get any worse? I don't think it can.

If you know anything about me, you know I hate bugs. I loathe creepy crawly things. I absolutely scream like a girl if I see a cockroach. I cannot handle beetles. Fuck maggots, they're gross.

So here I am, sitting on the floor of my room, mentally preparing myself to do some sit ups (also eating Starburst, I might add) and I saw some ant dirt on the floor. I've been at war with the ants for weeks now. But this ant dirt was different... it was at the base of a wooden chair I keep in the corner. And the ant dirt kind of ran up the side of the chair. Like a mud wasp nest, but made of ant dirt.

I gave the chair a nudge and part of the ant dirt tunnel broke off and I was absolutely disgusted by what fell out. Tiny little worms. Hundreds of tiny little white worms.

 

 

I gagged. And scrambled away from the chair.

WTF is living in that chair!? And how long have they been there!? I've never heard of worms like this. They have to be something disgusting and indigenous to the region. Sinai Chair Worms.

The Chair Worms wriggled pretty fast, so I had to get them the hell out of my room ASAP before they dispersed. I grabbed the chair, being sure to not let the legs of the chair touch me (God help me if one of those worms came into contact with my skin), and tossed it outside into the patio. Then I came inside and swept up the remaining Chair Worms and sprayed poison into the tiny hole in my floor that was at the base of the chair. I assumed that was the original point of entry, since the ants seem to come in from the floor, too.

 

I basically almost died. I'm going to need a lot more Arabic Raid to get me through this summer in this repulsive country.

Barf.

Mystery Illness Solved Through Science

I just recently got over an absolutely miserable cold. It lasted over 3 weeks and it seemed to go through drastic phases with wildly varying symptoms. When I started having strange new symptoms a week ago, I naturally figured my cold was going to take me through another fun phase. Yay.

New symptoms: itchy eyes, sneezing and extreme snot.

When you look at the symptoms alone, it screams allergic reaction. (Duh.) But since I had been sick for so long with varying ailments, my judgement was clouded and I didn't immediately think it was an allergic reaction. I suffered for about a week before I started to do some scientific research on my problem.

I noted I didn't wake up with these problems. They began in the shower and persisted through out the day. The most intense symptoms were in the shower. To include the snot problem. That was mostly uncontrollable in the shower, which doesn't make you feel like you had a very clean shower.

I started to think about how bad my eyes would itch when I would take a shower at the gym after PT at Ft Campbell. I never solved that mystery. I didn't really even try to solve that, I just accepted it. Now that I'm more hyper vigilant about science and it's happening again with the vengeance of 1,000 angry wasps, I decided to take this experience into consideration. I added this memory to my scientific data that I had collected.

The only thing that these two showering experiences had in common (other than the obvious) was the Herbal Essences shampoo and conditioner. My mom sent me the new Herbal Essences Naked shampoo and conditioner that smells SO GOOD like mint and lavender. But I am so very allergic to it! I must have been allergic to the other Herbal Essences shampoos too, but something about their Naked formula really triggered hate from my body.

 

Now that I know my problem, every time I touch my hair throughout the day, I notice the itchy eyes and sneezing return. And yes, I still am using the shampoo and conditioner even though I know I'm allergic to it. I'm too lazy to go to the FX and buy new stuff-- but I'm going to go tomorrow. I promise.

I did some Internet research and I read that a lot of people are allergic to this new Naked formula Herbal Essences has produced. Some of the complaints I read included raised rashes and itching. I'm glad my biggest complaint is snot. Which is still a pretty big complaint as far as I'm concerned.

Mostly, I'm just happy this isn't yet another phase of my epic cold. It's really over!

And I got to solve the mystery using science... I've become a bit of a scientist since I've been in Egypt. FYI.

Cool Guy Stuff

FYI: Medics have to do some gross stuff sometimes, and I'm totally going to put up some gross pictures of a wound at the bottom of this blog entry. Be warned.

Some cool guy stuff (excitement) came into the clinic today. An Egyptian worker sliced the palm of his hand wide open. The avulsion nearly took the side of his hand clear off. It was just flopping there.

If this had been an American or a member of the MFO, we probably would have MEDEVAC'd him to Be'er Sheva to go to a real emergency room. But he was an Egyptian national and we aren't allowed to do that. We're supposed to send them to their local hospitals here in the Sinai, but let's face it, he wouldn't have received the care he needed. So we sewed him up here in our clinic.  

Sterile field? Who needs that.

The poor guy.

Now that I'm a Staff Sergeant, I don't do cool guy Medic stuff anymore. It's my younger Medic's turn to do it. I had to pass the torch. So I took some pictures and basically left the situation alone for the Medics and the Colombian Doc to take care of.

Honestly, I don't miss the cool guy stuff. I had my time.

 

 

 

Fabulous Nails

There must be something in the water, because I've never had such fabulous nails in my life.

And they grow fast! I feel like I'm constantly out of regulation (of course there is a regulation dictating fingernail length-- this is the ARMY). I hack off all my claws every few weeks and before I know it, they're back! Long and beautiful and completely unauthorized.

 

 

They're not even doing me any good over here! I don't get the opportunity to dress like a girl very often, and when I do, I'm just covered in flies anyway. If only somehow I could turn these claws into fly killing weapons of mass destruction... I bet they'd be authorized then. At least while in deployed environments, ESPECIALLY the Middle East.