Sergeant First Class

Well the Sergeant First Class list FINALLY came out...

And the sun and moon and stars must have been perfectly aligned because I was selected! My name was on the list!!

OMG its me!

This comes as a total surprise to me. This was my first look at Sergeant First Class. AND I got looked at a year earlier than usual because the Army changed the cut off dates for the board this year. I fell into the group getting looked at by 1 month's date of rank. So I squeaked in by the skin of my teeth and then somehow my board packet was impressive enough for me to be selected.

I'm beyond excited.

My sequence number is 286, so I have a ways to wait before my promotion number will be called. But at least I have a number! Sometime next year I will get promoted!

SFC DeGraf has a nice ring to it! 

Low Carb Diet

I've put myself on a low carb diet. I started approximately 1 week ago. 

It hasn't been nearly as horrible as I thought it would be. I actually eat more than I would on a low calorie diet. Low calorie is usually the route I go when I diet because it's relatively easy to count calories. But I suck at it. And I rarely see results, which pisses me off, so I quit.

I'd never counted carbs before because I thought it sounded hard. I watched one of my NCOs in Egypt lose an excess of 30lbs while he did the low carb diet. I always partook in his once a month cheat day and ate loads and loads of carbs/calories and watched a marathon of Game of Thrones with him. But I didn't diet with him. This could be part of the problem. I'm always willing to do cheat day, but not willing to diet.

At any rate, for about a week now I have been really good about my carb intake. I downloaded an app called Carb Manager to log everything I eat. It gives me a little pie graph to look at to see where I am with carb intake. I respond well to pie graphs.

Well, 1 week has passed and I weighed myself.

I'm down 4lbs.

Which kicks ass because I have to be officially weighed by the Army next week (following my PT test from last week) and I am within my weight standard so I won't have to be taped to determine my body fat content. I really don't like being taped-- I feel like a cow at auction getting my measurements taken. Its embarrassing,

For breakfast every morning I have been eating hard boiled eggs. I precooked them all so I can take them to work with me. But since today is Saturday, and I am home instead of on Ft Campbell for breakfast, I thought I would throw 2 of the eggs in the microwave to warm them up. I don't mind cold hard boiled eggs, but I thought maybe a warm breakfast would be a nice change.

Apparently you cannot warm hard boiled eggs up for 1 minute in the microwave.

They explode.

The dogs did not mind at all that they exploded. They reaped that benefit completely. The eggs took on a rubbery texture that was unfit for human consumption. But totally up french bulldog consumption alley. 

After I cleaned up the egg spatter that exploded in every direction in the microwave, I was a bit over eating eggs for breakfast. I had pickles instead. Not a great substitute but at least they were the right consistency! 

I'm going to keep up with this relatively strict 30 carbs or less diet a day until I reach my goal. And then I'll back off a bit. But I don't think I'll completely abandon the concept. It's really the only diet I've ever been on that has shown meaningful results. I intend to keep that going.  

Spring PT Test

I took my Spring physical fitness test yesterday. 

I have always been a bit worried about my push up score. Actually, I've ALWAYS been worried about my run score, but lately its been more about the push up score. 

Let me clarify, I am NEVER worried about passing. I could pass any day of the year someone asked me to take a PT test. However, I prefer to study for any test I take. And a few weeks before the scheduled bi-annual PT test, I amp up my push up and sit up performance to make sure I am ready. I work on the run at all times. 

Even though I truly enjoy running... apparently I enjoy running slow!

So my Spring scores are as follows:

What did I just see? Was that at least a 90% in all 3 events? Are you freaking kidding me!?!? That is the first time in my entire career I've done that! 90-90-90 qualifies you for the Physical Fitness Badge. You sew it on you PT uniform. 

I was hoping for a better run time, but I burned myself out doing sit ups (and it was raining, so I love to blame the weather). My push ups were more than I expected so I was really happy with that count. 

One of my Soldiers earned his PT Badge yesterday too. We joked that we are PT Patch Buddies now. The real joke is that only douchebags wear the patch on their uniform. Sorry if I offend anyone, but seriously, you know its stupid. This patch is like a giant neon sign that screams, "EXPECT TOO MUCH FROM ME!" No thanks, I'll pass on that. 

But earning it for the first time after 10 years of service was still a nice milestone to meet. 

Profile

So I really needed to go to sick call. But I don't do that. I made an appointment at the clinic instead because I would rather miss work than PT. At my appointment... I was put on profile. *gasp* I have not been on a physical limitations profile since I had surgery in 2012. 

Worst of all, I'm on a no running profile. More worst of all, the half marathon is in 1 month. 

I am having very bad bilateral foot pain. I believe its been a long time coming, but running so much over the past couple months aggravated it. But you know what started the aggravation?

A freaking dog toy. 

Gertie with the weapon.

Here you can see the pointy end she gnawed into the bone.

A haphazardly lain dog toy that I didn't see on the floor. One of Gertie's favorites. I jumped up off the couch in a hurry to break up a brutal french bulldog dog fight and stepped on this stupid toy. Its a hard bone that Gertie had widdled into a shank. And really hurt my right foot. Like, I was on the floor writhing in pain Peter Griffin style. That acute injury caused me to compensate, now the other foot hurts too... blah blah blah.

Both my feet hurt so bad. So I had no choice but to go to the doctor.

I convinced my PA that I really only needed 2 weeks of rest. She understood that the half marathon is important to me but also cautioned me not to seriously injure myself in the process. She gave me a 2 week no running profile, prescribed Motrin and sent me to get my feet x-rayed. After the half marathon at the end of April I am to come back so she can set me up for a bone scan.

I've made it nearly 10 years in the Army without a major injury. I've recently gloated about that. Now this happens. 

Thanks, Gertie. 

Earned It

Look what finally came in the mail today:

I completed my Associates in Health Sciences degree in February. But I had to wait until today to actually hold the degree in my hands. 

I accomplished something that most 20 year old kids have! I may have completed this degree a little later in life than I should have, but at least I did it. And I'm not stopping here. I am already enrolled in another degree program. 

I am working towards a Bachelors in Public Health now. Being active duty doesn't leave me a whole lot of extra time to work on college courses but I'm going to plug away at it and maybe before I'm 40 I will earn the next degree (I hope so!).

In the mean time, it's cool to see this posted on my ERB (Enlisted Record Brief) instead of my high school graduation information! 

Military Ball

My unit had it's annual Military Ball yesterday evening. Yes, that made the Ball on a Thursday. Attendance at the Ball earned you a day off the next day. But I don't work for the unit-- I am borrowed military manpower (BMM) and they still had daily operations to conduct on Friday. No biggie. I asked for a late start (0900) so I could try to sleep off the copious amount of booze I knew I would consume at the Ball.

And I did not disappoint. 

I am glad that we took our photo before I got completely hammered. But I wish someone would have told me I looks 105 years old with my shawl on. I would have removed it for the photo. Since no one informed me, I absolutely hate the photo and I won't make the Internet look at it. 

Look at this instead!

Completely hammered I did get though. I made it through the receiving line to greet my Battalion Commander and Battalion Command Sergeant Major sober enough. The grog ceremony was memorable. But after I drank the grog, it was all down hill. I sort of recall dinner. James had ham on his plate and the mashed potatoes were off the hook. That's really all I can say about dinner. 

Me and my battle, Tracy

We had to leave before 2130 (9:30 pm). I told James it was time to go because it was time to vomit and I did not want to vomit at the event venue in a $200 dress. I would much prefer to vomit in the privacy of my own home in Nike shorts and a hoodie. Which is exactly what I did. Oh there was so much vomiting, 

And so much working the next day. 0900 was not late enough. I was pretty much worthless at work today. The Ball was fun though (from my booze hazed recollection). 

32!

Earlier this month I turned 32 years old (happy birthday to me). 32 is a most glorious age for me. I entered a new age bracket on the Army Physical Fitness Test. Now that I am in the 32-36 age group, the standard to achieve 100% in all three events has dropped significantly. This means, by not improving my physical capability at all, I will score higher on the test. What's not to like about that?

I took my Fall PT test this morning.

Although I actually did 3 fewer push-ups and 3 fewer sit-ups than my last PT test in May, I scored higher. Ahh, the glory of getting older. Seriously, who wouldn't love this!?

Unfortunately, I was shooting to score at least 90% in each event. I've never done that before. I though I would this time due to my old age. But those push-ups! 88% was all I could muster this morning. 2 push-ups. 2 measly stupid push-ups and I would have scored 90%! Grrr! 

I suppose I could retake it. A more likely scenario is I will bitch about it for 6 months and then when I take the Spring PT test, I will put more effort forward to prepare myself. 

Yay, 32!

Hard Work, Work

The facility I work at on Fort Campbell does not employ Privates. In fact, we don't have any E-4 and below at all. Everyone is an NCO or a contracted civilian. In the absence of Privates, I have relived many of my extra duty days doing tasks a Staff Sergeant doesn't usually do anymore. 

I have never pushed a lawn mower more in my Army career than I have over the last summer. It's so ridiculously hot here in the summer: not ideal forced lawn care weather. I have scrubbed more toilets and taken more trash bags to the dumpster than I can recall. Sweeping, mopping... you name it, I'm doing it. 

Today's big task: police call.

I found something's skull during the police call.

I have nearly 10 years in the Army and have had one field grade article 15 but I have yet to learn how to run a buffer and buff a floor. This is a point of pride for me. The way things are looking around here, though, I could be learning this valuable Army skill soon.

Its a bit humbling doing all this work that is generally reserved for Army Privates. We have a good crew out here, and we take it in stride. But I won't be really sad when I go back to a supervisory role.

Really Big Spider

I work in the back 40 of Fort Campbell in a building that is less than bug proof. Especially now that the weather is getting cooler, the creepy crawlers of Fort Campbell are looking for a warm place to chill. It's normal to find a lot of beetles running around. But lately we have been finding spiders. 

Really. Big. Spiders. 

Our receptionist really hates bugs. Especially really big spiders. So what do the guys at work do to torment her? They catch said really big spiders in plastic baggies and put them in her desk drawer. She loses her shit and the guys love it. 

I took one of the spider baggies outside and released the spider. The guys were going to kill it but the thought of the guts and goo that would be in the bag grossed me out more than the spider itself. The spider went back into the wilderness to become a spider king among lesser spiders. Of course, he will probably get back into our building looking to get warm and once again end up in a baggie. 

On Assignment

After months and months of going back and forth with my branch manager and my retention NCO, I am very happy to report that I am finally on assignment. I actually got something that I wanted and wasn't stuck taking the lesser of evils.

I'm on assignment to go to Fort Wainwright, Alaska. My branch manager was able to slot me in MEDDAC. I've never worked MEDDAC before. The idea of doing something so outside of the realm of anything I've done before is a bit daunting. Some people love working in the hospital, and others really hate it. But I am excited. I'm excited to go somewhere I've never been and work a job I've never done.

My report date isn't until late 2016. December, actually. I'll try to request early report so I don't have to drive through Canada in the winter. I'm so excited! I will have to get snow boots for the Frenchies!

Alaska bound!

Graduation Is Set

I just applied for graduation. Graduation of what, you ask? Well, I decided to get me one of them college degrees. It's just an associates in Health Sciences. It's not fancy, and quite frankly, I got A LOT of credits given to me by my Army experiences. Since I've been in the Army nearly 10 years, I would hope some of that would be granted as credit. Nothing better than on the job training!

Any one who has asked me knows I never had plans of getting a degree of any kind. I'm not a book learnin' kind of gal. But now that I know I do not qualify for any special assignments in the Army, I need a degree to keep me competitive for promotion to Sergeant First Class.

Graduation is in February. Come March I will be back in school working towards that Bachelors in Public Health. Oh boy. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks.

DA Photo

So when you get promoted to Staff Sergeant, your orders tell you that you have to have a DA photo taken within 30 days. I was in Egypt when I got promoted, so I got a pass on the 30 days. But I should have taken the picture as soon as I got back. Well now it's been 17 months since I got promoted and I FINALLY got around to having the picture taken. 

A DA photo is a Department of the Army official photo. The DA Photo is used to quickly determine a Soldier’s professionalism and military bearing while conducting a promotion board or in a situation where the Solider is not physically present. This picture is supposed to represent how awesome I am without me being there to wow a crowd with my stunning personality. 

And to see if the Soldier is fat. I think that might be the reason the DA photo is most used. 

I had one of my best Army girlfriends help me put together my uniform the night before. If you've ever put all the badges and ribbons onto a female's uniform, you know how time consuming it can be. It's always best to have someone helping you. I think she did a fabulous job making sure my ribbons are placed exactly where they need to be. 

The photo process was quick and easy. And I think it turned out phenomenal. I don't know why I waited as long as I did. Actually, I do know why I waited. I wanted those Air Assault wings in my picture!

No Jobs Means Home Improvements

I've been looking for a new job in the Army. It's harder than I thought it would be. When I was a little lower ranking it was easy. Everyone needs a medic; I could go virtually anywhere. But now I have to look for a specific slot to fill. Staff Sergeant medics aren't needed virtually everywhere since not as many are needed in units.

 

I'm also in my reenlistment window. So I've been harassing my retention NCO to help me find a job almost daily. I want to be on orders. But I do not want to be on orders to the places that are available right now. My choices include Fort Stewart, Georgia and Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. Korea isn't even available right now! And no one wants Korea! I'm holding out a while longer before I make a decision. Something decent has to show up on the availability list.

 

So in the mean time, I am going to be at Fort Campbell a bit longer and living in my house a bit longer. All the remodeling I have been doing to sell my house, is now going to be for me to enjoy. So I redid my hallway bathroom this weekend.

 

 

The popcorn ceilings came down in both bathrooms. Thank God, I HATE popcorn ceilings. I painted the newly flattened ceilings white. And then I completely overhauled the guest bathroom. My attempt to match the walls to the existing shower curtain was a complete success. I wasn't sure if I liked the brightness of the new color at first. Once I added all the bathroom accessories I knew I had made a good choice.

 

Gertie sat in the room and watched the whole thing. Under her watchful eye, I completed everything in just a few hours. I don't know what I would have done without her supervision.

 

Maybe the master bathroom (which is the size of a closet) will be next. I am about to go on leave for 3 weeks, so I can add another project to my list. The big project while I am on leave is to put up a backsplash in my kitchen. I've never done anything like it before, so wish me luck.

 

I need to find a job before I go broke remodeling.

Air Assault!!

I did it!

 

I passed the Air Assault 20K (12 mile) road march this morning and am now an Air Assault badge holder.

I crossed the finish line at 2 hours and 51 minutes. I had an allowed time of 3 hours. When I crossed the class behind us was having formation and singing the Screaming Eagle Song. It was perfect timing and felt like something out of a movie.

I was so proud of myself this morning. I am a badge holder now. Never before have I been able to say that. In the years I have quested to earn the EFMB, that ridiculous 20K road march held me back and haunted me. But not today.

When I had the air assault wings pinned on my chest at the graduation ceremony I felt so proud of myself. I know many Soldiers don't feel like the air assault badge was difficult to earn. But for me, it most certainly was a challenge.

After the ceremony with my BN CDR, who was also in my class.

Never before have I been in good enough shape and strong enough to complete the Air Assault Obstacle Course. The 4 mile run in less than 36 minutes we conducted in 90 degree heat tested my will to finish. Going to the top of the 34 foot tower and repelling off 8 times tested my fear of heights and falling. And, finally, the 20K road march tested my endurance and heart to finish. Air Assault was not easy for me: and I completed it.

I fucking completed it.

 

AIR ASSAULT!

Omen?

So I've never done this before, not even with EFMB... but I'm 3 days and a 20k road march away from completing Air Assault School... and I may have given myself some bad juju.

 

I bought Air Assault badges. Five of them. Two to sew on to ACUs, two to sew on to OCPs and one shiny silver one for my ASU dress uniform. I'm not sure if buying them was bad luck.

 

 

I really try not to get my hopes up about anything I try in the Army, because EFMB has defeated me in the final hours over and over again. I never bought EFMB badges in the past though. It also wasn't possible for me to buy them since you stay in the field the whole time at EFMB....

 

But with Air Assault, I bought the badges before graduation. I'm nervous but confident. (If that can even be a thing at the same time.)

 

I hope buying them wasn't an omen.

 

That road march makes me so nervous. In the past 2 months I've road marched my ass off to get ready for this. But EFMB has made me so scared of failing. I've got to get this. If anything, so I didn't waste my money on these badges. Plus, I need to save face. I'm really tired of having, "who failed the road march" trail after SSG DeGraf.

Operational Camouflage Pattern

I intended to pop into the Class Six after work to get a case of beer and be on my way home to start my 4 day holiday weekend. But the Class Six is next to Clothing and Sales. I got sucked in, and every time I get sucked in I spend a substantial amount of money.

Catching my eye today, the new Operational Camouflage Pattern (OCP) uniform. It was actively being stocked on the shelves. Fort Campbell was one of the first bases chosen to stock the uniform. I had not intended to buy the new OCP uniform because the wear out date for the ACU (the current uniform) is still a few years out. But something about Clothing and Sales makes me feel like money is no object. I walked down the OCP uniform aisle and they had my size top! And then they had my size pants! Anyone whose ever bought a uniform knows that getting your size top and pants at the same time is nothing short of a miracle. AND it's the new pattern!? Well, this was a not even a decision anymore at this point: I had to buy a uniform. Two, actually.

 

New patterned uniform means new name tapes, new rank, new unit patches, new deployment patches, new PC (hat), new under shirts, new boots.... Holy crap, the list goes on just to get appropriately dressed for work! I'm not quite ready to transition completely to the OCP. So I only ordered name tapes and purchased rank and my unit patch today. I'll slowly acquire everything needed to create 2 full uniforms and then I'll start integrating it into my Army wardrobe. It'll take time (and a few paychecks) to get everything done.

Luck in my favor, I'll get to have Air Assault wings sewn on this new uniform. :)

Oh, and don't worry, I still made it into the Class Six for my case of beer. Clothing and Sales isn't that distracting.

Zero Day: Air Assault

Today was my zero day at Air Assault School. I was really nervous, I'm not going to lie. I've been working towards going to this school for nearly 3 months now and only recently have successfully navigated the obstacle course. So I showed up today, trying to be as positive as possible, but also not getting my hopes up. (I know better than most from previous EFMB failures that getting your hopes up and then failing miserably feels awful.)

But things went well for me today. I somehow managed to pass the obstacle course and didn't have to go back to my unit with my head hung in shame.

I ran my fastest 2 mile run to date-- 16:34! I went up the Confidence Climb faster than I ever have before. I killed the Weaver. I even got over that damn inclined wall on my first try.

 

I had to attempt the Tough One twice, though. The first time I was too worn out to get up the rope. I had just killed the afore mentioned Weaver and I was just worn out. So I was given a few minutes rest time and then I zipped up the rope without any problems. Thank Jesus.

Today was a good day.

 

But not so much for my legs. Look at all the obstacle course trophies I have on my legs! They really took a beating today. My arms don't look so hot either, but at least most of the bruising is camouflaged by my tattoos.

I have 10 more days of Air Assault, so I've only just begun. People say zero day is the hardest day. I guess I'll be finding out soon! I hope my luck keeps holding out.

Tough One

When I hurt my hand earlier this summer, it was because I fell off the top of the rope on the Tough One. The Tough One is one of the obstacles at the Air Assault Obstacle Course. It's also considered a major obstacle so you absolutely have to be able to do it to get past the first day of school. It's been my handicap for a few weeks.

 

 

You've got to climb up the rope and not touch the first horizontal beam with your hands or arms. Once your knees are that high, you can put your knees down on it and transition from the rope to the beams. After you're off the rope, you've got to climb over the upper most horizontal beam. Then there are a series of beams you have to walk across without falling down between them. Next there is a tall ladder structure to ascend, to climb over the top of and then descend the cargo net along the back side.

 

Since I fell off the rope, I've been afraid of it. Imagine that!? Fall all that way down and not want to do it again. Crazy....

 

I've been working at it for a few weeks now: trying to get over the fear. I usually freeze when my face is aligned with the first horizontal beam. But today I worked through it, got past the beams and got my knees onto the platform. FINALLY got my knees on the platform. That was the tricky part for me. But I got it today.

 

I did it pretty quickly, and waited to freak out and be afraid until I transitioned onto the beams. I was by myself today so I had to take a pic from the top to prove my success.

 

 

The Tough One I've been practicing on is not the exact same one that I will do at Air Assault School. They are almost identical, but the school's obstacle course is off limits unless you have permission to be on it. So that one pictured above doesn't have the safety mats underneath it like the one I originally fell off. Glad I didn't fall off today.

 

So proud of myself!!

Wasp VS Spider

I was out on our training lane at work today hanging out in the shade because it's approximately a billion degrees at Fort Campbell already. While I was shamming, I saw the most bad ass battle of wills I have ever seen in nature.

 

I noticed a wasp buzzing around erratically in the dirt. So I leaned in to see what the heck it was up to. Well, it was kicking a giant spider's ass, is what it was doing. The spider was on it's back and it was getting stung by the wasp repeatedly. It wasn't really doing much to defend itself (probably because it had been stung a dozen or so times) so I figured it had already died. When suddenly it sprung back onto its feet like a ninja and attacked the wasp right back. The wasp didn't like getting bit and started going totally ape shit, stinging the spider over and over right in the FACE. The spider eventually gave up (but didn't die). The wasp bit the spider on the FACE and dragged its body approximately 10 feet over to a connex and disappeared underneath.

 

Freaking craziness.

 

 

What a bad ass wasp to skull drag a giant spider across the grass. These wasps are all over our training lane. I have new respect (and a sense of terror) for these wasps from here on out. They most certainly do NOT mess around!!

Evolution of my Epic Wound

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to climb a rope about 10 feet up and then fall off? I can tell you from first hand experience, that it is not recommended.

 

I landed on the mats underneath in an explosion of sand and water. I hear it looked pretty cool, but it didn't feel very cool. The only wound I sustained was some wicked rope burn on the palm of my hand. It didn't seem like much at the time, but it was one of the most painful Army wounds I've ever had.

 

Day of wounding



Day 2

Day 4

Day 9

Day 10

Day 12

Day 20

It took 20 days for the last scab to come loose and for all the new pink skin to be smooth.

 

Rope burn is not recommended. Falling is also not recommended. But falling and getting rope burn on a part of your body that you constantly move and bang around is FOR SURE not recommended.

 

PS Only a Medic would photograph the wound healing process and post it on her blog.