The Frenchies Wear Boots

Since it has snowed, and the temperature has stayed averaging 0 or below, the frenchies are not too keen on going outside to potty. Picasso is a trooper and he has just reduced his bathroom frequency requirements. Gertie has chosen to just use the restroom in the house in places I cannot supervise completely. Apparently she thinks I will like to find random dog poo in the kitchen or on the landing upstairs. 

She's wrong. 

I know it's cold. It's averaging 0 lately....

I just started to plug my car in while I work all day. By the time I'm off work, my car has sat over 12 hours out in the elements. Now that it's below 0, I need to be concerned that the battery will be too cold for the engine to start. Most of the parking spots at the hospital (and all around Fairbanks) have little towers at the head of parking spots that have outlets for you to plug your car in to. 

Anyway, this is not good weather for french bulldogs. They require pretty moderate temperatures to flourish-- not too hot and not too cold. This is too cold, FYI.

I was prepared to dress the frenchies with coats before we moved to Fairbanks. Each frenchie has 2 coats each, 2 NICE coats each. I bought one set and their wonderful Aunite Rosie purchased their second set (how much does she LOVE them; there is a reason she is their gods mother). I had to purchase booties for the frenchies once I got here. This has been... interesting.

Neither of them like their booties. I bought color coded booties (purple for her, red for him) while up here because it was brought to my attention their feet will be really cold. I didn't think of that for some reason. I thought about their bodies, but not their little paws!

They both loathe their booties. I tried their booties on each dog on different occasions. I tried Gertie first, mostly because she is more easy going and agreeable to weird things. If someone was going to kidnap one of my dogs, it would be Gertie. But she was so embarrassed to wear her booties that she kicked Picasso's ass for simply being present. Nothing is more sad than seeing a dog fight while one is wearing small purple booties.

A few days later, I tried Picasso's booties on. He is not a fan of his feet being touched, which is why I didn't start with him in the first place. He has historically been a hater of his feet being touched.

So I was super wary of touching his feet. He didn't really have much of an issue with me physically putting boots on his paws. He didn't try to bite me or anything. 

Taking the booties off was another story. He tried to bite me with each paw I tried to disrobe. He was so embarrassed that he wouldn't take another step further off the back porch,

I don't think the outlook of bootie wearing is positive in the DeGraf-Buckley household. This winter should prove to be interesting.

#firstalaskanwinter

Really Big Spider

I work in the back 40 of Fort Campbell in a building that is less than bug proof. Especially now that the weather is getting cooler, the creepy crawlers of Fort Campbell are looking for a warm place to chill. It's normal to find a lot of beetles running around. But lately we have been finding spiders. 

Really. Big. Spiders. 

Our receptionist really hates bugs. Especially really big spiders. So what do the guys at work do to torment her? They catch said really big spiders in plastic baggies and put them in her desk drawer. She loses her shit and the guys love it. 

I took one of the spider baggies outside and released the spider. The guys were going to kill it but the thought of the guts and goo that would be in the bag grossed me out more than the spider itself. The spider went back into the wilderness to become a spider king among lesser spiders. Of course, he will probably get back into our building looking to get warm and once again end up in a baggie. 

Snow In The New Year

Happy 2014 y'all!

James and I rang in the new year super lame and stayed home. I had been feeling sick (NOT hung over, thank you very much) and didn't want to be out in public. We stayed in and let off fireworks at midnight.

We are 2 days into the new year and Mother Nature got frigid cold and took a big snow dump on Clarksville, TN. This is our first real snow of the year... (duh)... well, first real snow of the winter season! And Picasso hates it. He's seen snow before. Last Christmas he saw a lot of snow in Iowa. But having experience with it didn't make him appreciate the "winter wonderland" outside our doors when it came time for him to walk through it to go potty.

 

 

 

The potty venture was quick, and he immediately hauled ass back to the door to go back in. Picasso is an indoor kind of guy. He wasn't trying to deal with me calling his name and making enticing clicking noises to get him to look at me, so I couldn't get a picture of his unhappy bulldog face. Not amused at all. We He was very set on being back on the couch.

According to weatherchannel.com, it's not going to get any warmer or less snowy any time too soon. Picasso might have to wear a sweater when we go out from here on out... James will be so embarrassed.... :)

Ice!

Mom and Dad came to visit for Christmas this year! So I took them to Nashville for the first time the day after Christmas. We went to the Grand Ole Opry to see the Ice! exhibit. Every year it's a different theme and this year it was Frosty the Snowman.

Ice! is an ice sculpture walk through held in a 9 degree event building behind the hotel. There were light blue parkas that were being handed out to everyone before you enter the exhibit, but Dad was the only one who was willing to play along with that. James, Mom and I decided being cold was better than wearing someone else's coat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The exhibit was really cool! I've never seen anything like it. It was cold, obviously more so for the three of us who refused the parka. And busy, obviously since it was the day after Christmas. But very fun. There were even ice slides you could go down. We did not slide, however, as we are all a bunch of Scrooges.

Silverfish

It's beginning to get cold in Clarksville, Tennessee. We've had frost adversaries all week which has lead to the tragic death of my giant geraniums I managed to keep alive all summer. That, in itself, is something to celebrate. I kept a plant alive all summer in Tennessee!!! Woot! There is a first time for everything!

 

So, in recognition of cold weather setting in, Nature from OUTSIDE has decided its time to move INTO the house. I know what you're thinking; you have mice again, Jackie, it's normal for you. No. I wish it was mice. Instead I have an overwhelming invasion of silverfish. The name silverfish doesn't sound like it could possibly be a scary thing. It sounds aquatic and rich.

 

Not. At. All.

 

This is what has been invading my home:

 

 

OF COURSE, that is not a picture I took. That picture is compliments of Google Images. Any time I see a silverfish in my home I am too busy running away from one or killing one in a frenzy to take time to photograph it.

 

I had a particularly horrific incident with a very resilient silverfish a few days ago.

 

So, I am pretty ghetto, and instead of having a laundry basket that I throw my dirty laundry into, I use the floor of my closet. I am well aware that I am housing dirty laundry on the floor where I keep clean laundry on hangers. However, I have yet to be told that I smell terrible while wearing seemingly clean clothes. Don't hate.

 

I went to do laundry, finally. As usual, I laid a used towel on the floor and pawed a bunch of dirty laundry out of my closet onto it. I was doing a load that was heavy in the military clothes department. I like to wash my Army clothes and my regular/delicate clothes separately. All the Velcro on my uniforms tends to destroy my underwear.

 

So anyways, I had a big load of Army laundry clutched to my chest in a towel that I was taking to the washing machine from the bedroom to the kitchen (where my laundry machines are located). I held the laundry as tightly as I could so I wouldn't drop anything. As I was stuffing the laundry into the machine, one of these horrible silverfish came scurrying out of my laundry.

 

Now, do you recall my verbiage? I had just been clutching this laundry to my chest. A silverfish had been hitching a ride. Essentially, I had been hugging this silverfish. I HUGGED A SILVERFISH!

 

This silverfish emerged frantically from a fold in the clothing, waving all it's legs and antennas at me. It stopped along the fly of a pair of my pants. It froze. I froze. And then I think my heart froze. I couldn't muster up the courage to catch the silverfish. You've seen what they look like! I wasn't trying to put hands on that! Instead, I poured detergent over it and slammed the lid down.

 

"You will die in suds", I decided aloud.

 

When it came time to change the laundry over to the dryer, I was cautious, but certain 45 minutes in soapy water killed the culprit. I carefully placed all my laundry into the dry and shut the door. I set the timer for an hour. I figured the silverfish had a fragile body that had disintegrated in the water and soap.

 

Boy was I wrong. As soon as I stepped away from the laundry machines, I saw that silverfish hanging out right in front of them. It wasn't nearly as agile as it had been. No, he was definitely stunned; yet still alive. IT HAD LIVED THROUGH THE WASHING MACHINE. I immediately flipped out and called for James to do the slaying. He took care of it and I immediately made him take the garbage bag (which was the silverfish's final resting place) out to the garbage can.

 

I loathe outside critters coming in to visit for the winter. YUCK!

 

Spring?

I am quite aware the current season is Spring. However, I don't think Mother Nature got the memo. The Fort Campbell area had a very mild Winter. I gauge that based on the number of late starts and days off we had due to inclement weather. We had maybe 3 late starts.

So when I woke up today to a snowy Winter wonderland, you can guess I was shocked! And even more shocked that I had to go to work! This isn't the natural order of things. It snows, people freak out, post closes. That's how it's supposed to go. What the heck happened this morning guys? Someone really dropped the ball.

 

Bldg 7020: The 501st ASMC

This is the most snow we've gotten all Winter! It's also the most snow we've gotten all Spring.

It snowed all day and its supposed to snow all night. Of course, the temperature is hovering right around 32 so it's not sticking to the roads like I would like it to. I'm keeping my fingers crossed we'll get a late start tomorrow.

EFMB: Refugee Camp

Today was my platoon's day to train on CTL 3 (combat testing lane 3). This is the lane with the majority of the evac tasks and takes the most physical effort.

Today was also the day it decided to down pour and be 35 degrees. We were all soaked to the bone, freezing our asses off, waiting for sweet death in a "warming tent". The warming tents were not hooked to a heater so there wasn't much warming going on in them. Also, there wasn't a floor installed in the tent so it flooded.

CTL 3 had a sweet obstacle where you have to crawl on your back under barbed wire-- which was completely flooded so you may as well have been swimming in near freezing muddy water. When I said that obstacle was sweet, I was lying. It was absolutely miserable.

Thank god training got indexed 3 hours early so we could go back to our sleeping stables, I mean tents, and change into warm dry clothes. But wouldn't you guess it!? The heaters were out in the tents, too.

So we got moved on to main post Fort Campbell and into the 86th CSH motorpool bay like relocated hurricane refugees:

 

It was so warm in the motorpool bay. However, it was strange to sleep on a wrestling mat.  The bay saved us from freezing to death, which I am super grateful for. And we got to shower! That was pretty rad-- although I'm sure it will be my ONLY shower in this 15 day event. I swear, every time I go to EFMB, the conditions get worse. I don't even want to know what crap I'd have to go through in the future if I don't get the badge this time!

EFMB: Getting Settled

Holy crap it's cold!

I'm out here at EFMB, the Fort Campbell edition, and it's cold as hell! It's snowing currently. It rarely snows here, and what do you know, as soon as I'm going to a 15 day field exercise, it dumps on us.

Our living accommodations are less than ideal. We have tents... with straw floors. It's kind of like being livestock and living in a stable. It smells like the fair, but with less funnel cakes.

 

Pallet path through the living stables.

It wouldn't be so bad if the site had been built on grass. Instead, it was built on dirt. Which quickly grew into a festering quagmire of mud once it started to snow. The mud is so thick that tries to suction off your boots or make you skid around erratically. I have not fallen yet, but I'm sure I will. I'm waiting for it.

 

OMG the mud is EVERYWHERE!

 

Another glamorous accommodation is the lack of shower trailers and the complete lack of a plan to move the candidates to a showering facility. 15 days is a looooong time without a shower. I'm probably going to have dreadlocks by the time this is over and have a thin film of EFMB covering my body.

Cheers to my 5th EFMB! And hopefully my last!

Brr! M16 Range

Today's weather forecast.

Today was day 2 of the M16 range hosted by my company. I totally lucked out yesterday and got to sit in the tower and be the firing line announcer. The tower is heated and cozy. I was busy, but not freezing my ass off like all of the firers.

 

I was a firer freezing my ass off today.

 

Let's start out by pointing out Fort Campbell had a 2 hour late start because of the snow and ice we had gotten last night. Somehow this barely effected the time line for the range and the 2 hour late start did not apply to us. The sand at the zero range was frozen. I had to jump in place in between firing iterations to keep my blood flowing, and still my feet were blocks of ice in my boots. And OF COURSE, wear of the fleece cap was unauthorized. Why would something designed to keep your head and ears warm be allowed to be worn? Craziness, I say!

Kick ass, poncho! Thanks for keeping me dry!

I laid my poncho down on the sand so I wouldn't have to lay in the icy sand. People made fun of me when I took it out the range with me. But they looked at that poncho longingly when they were laying in cold wet sand. Suckers!

 

I qualified like garbage the first time I fired (only 27 out of 40!? I blame the cold weather). But then I got my act together and shot expert like I normally do (36 out of 40-- that's more like it!).

 

This was such a cold range, probably the coldest one we'll have all year. I sure am glad I got to make it a wonderful memory of my time spent on Fort Campbell. And I hope I never get stationed someplace that is actually much colder than this and have to do many more Army tasks in the freezing cold. I'm a cold weather wuss!

He's My Best Friend :)

I had a pretty rough day at work. We did PT in the rain. I was outside in the motorpool for the majority of the day working in the cold rain. I didn't get to talk to James at all because I was occupied doing unnecessary things at work. I'm working with two new NCOs and having personality differences with one of them. I worked 13 hours and hit every red light on the way home.

 

But when I got home, I had this guy waiting for me:

 

"Please share whatever you are eating."

 

And he was so happy to see me he could barely contain himself. No one (not James, not my mom-- no one) is ever this happy to see me. If it wasn't for Picasso, I don't know what I'd do. He's my constant companion since James has been deployed. He makes being home alone not so alone. I love my doggie!

Fort Polk EFMB: Tent Life

How on earth can the generator that heats the tents run out of fuel two days in a row? Who ever is in charge of fueling them either hates us or is awful at their job. Probably both.

For the past two days I've woken up to a tent with a temperature of 25 degrees. It took all my will to poke my face out of my sleeping bag, let alone get out and into ACUs this morning. Silly me, I didn't sleep with my uniform in the bottom of my sleeping bag since I didn't anticipate having absolutely no heat in a tent.

 

Tent Sweet Tent

 

The females in this tent have interesting field behavior. I watched several apply makeup this morning. Heavy makeup. We don't have access to showers, yet you still think you need makeup?

I also watched a female strip naked, put on a poncho and go outside in this winter weather to take an improvised shower... the day before we are being bussed on post to take a real shower.

Another female that sleeps a few cots over wakes up early before everyone else and dresses really quickly. Then she just stands over her cot and does nothing. She's just standing there waiting for the day to begin. She kinda creeps me out.

 

** An additional note on the creepy female. A few days later, I watched her paint her face with a cammo stick, lay in her bed in her full uniform (including hat) with her M16 lying over her chest and stare at the roof of the tent. I wanted to photograph her SO BADLY but she seems unpredictable.

Road Conditions Are RED

Fort Lewis basically shut down for the day. It snowed yesterday and last night so that means everyone in a 100 mile radius of the Puget Sound lost their damn minds and cannot properly operate heavy machinery, i.e. privately owned vehicles.

It's fine with me. I know how to drive in ice and snow. I'm an Iowa girl. It was bred into my bones to know how to deal with crappy weather. Also, I'm not a total retard and I can make educated decisions about how to safely navigate the roads. I can't say that's true for most of the rest of the population.

On my way to work this morning, because I was not notified the post was shut down until I was already at work, I saw at least 4 accidents. People were flying down I-5 like it was a beautiful summer day and then about 3 miles later I'd catch back up with them because they were nose first in a ditch. Silly Californians and Texans. Learn to drive where you live now, not where you used to live!

I was at work for a grand total of 45 minutes. Just long enough to tell all my Soldiers that they risked their lives to come to work for nothing and to, once again, risk their lives and go back home. It was rewarding. Go Army!

Cold Weather PTs

It's supposed to snow this weekend.

Yuck.

I understand that there are places in this country where it has already snowed this winter, but for the area of Washington that I live in, this is too soon. Waaaaay too soon, if you ask me.

I'm not a fan of being cold. At all. In fact, I'm a huge baby about being cold. I'd rather be hot any day than freeze. It seems like everything the Army issues for cold weather was not actually tested in cold weather. Or maybe a big fat guy with lots of fat cells to insulate him was chosen to test the gear. But most likely it was a big fat guy testing it in Florida who also zero fashion sense. Clearly (as pictured below) the Army needs a visit from Clinton and Stacey from What Not To Wear.

Not only is it a hideous PT uniform, it's also not warm. And wearing shorts under those pants is a huge pain in the ass because the shorts ride up so it's like wearing a diaper made out of a wind breaker. The pants also run about 6 sizes too small so if you're not careful, they can turn into PT leggings-- which are never long enough no matter what size you get. The long sleeve t-shirt worn under the jacket is actually a turtle neck. Who wants to run in a turtle neck? Who wants to leave the house PERIOD in a turtle neck?

Winter PTs need some serious help.