Foot Treatment

I found this picture on Facebook and it intrigued me:
 

Looks relaxing.

 

I'm skeptical. This could be because I am biased. I have THE WORST Army feet. My feet are always cracking and peeling. Skin absolutely refuses to stay alive and healthy on my feet. James has nicer feet than me and he's with the Infantry. My feet are disgusting.

I figured I'd give it a shot. Put it to the test. If it didn't work, oh well, the only ingredient I had to go out and buy was vinegar. If it did work, then the skin sloughing party would at least be medically interesting.

So I mixed it all up. I tripled the recipe since this concoction is obviously for people with a normal amount of dead skin on their feet. I sat on the couch and dunked my feet. It smelled really... strong. Picasso didn't want anything to do with it and it kinda hurt my eyes to be so close to it.

 

Slightly less spa-like.

 

Stupidly, I started this experiment while James was out of the house and I didn't get a towel out beforehand. So I was stuck in the stinky water for way longer than the recommended 10 minutes. After about a half an hour, my feet started to dye blue from the mouthwash. No! Blue feet were not what I was going for!

 

I did what I had to do, I scooted on my butt into my kitchen while pushing the bin with my feet ahead of me. Slowly, as to not slosh this stinky liquid everywhere.

After I scooted all the way to the stove and wiped my feet off with the hand towel, I anxiously inspected my feet for signs of dead skin I could "wipe away".

Pffffffft. What a rip off. All I was left with was a bunch of blue dead skin all over my feet. I guess I'm going to have to go get a professional pedicure tomorrow and horrify the ladies with my gross blue Army feet.

They didn't picture very blue, but BELIEVE me, they're blue!

 

 

Ice!

Mom and Dad came to visit for Christmas this year! So I took them to Nashville for the first time the day after Christmas. We went to the Grand Ole Opry to see the Ice! exhibit. Every year it's a different theme and this year it was Frosty the Snowman.

Ice! is an ice sculpture walk through held in a 9 degree event building behind the hotel. There were light blue parkas that were being handed out to everyone before you enter the exhibit, but Dad was the only one who was willing to play along with that. James, Mom and I decided being cold was better than wearing someone else's coat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The exhibit was really cool! I've never seen anything like it. It was cold, obviously more so for the three of us who refused the parka. And busy, obviously since it was the day after Christmas. But very fun. There were even ice slides you could go down. We did not slide, however, as we are all a bunch of Scrooges.

Cancer?

Today I decided I have cancer of the neck. I told my best friend, Rosie, and she immediately freaked out, like a best friend is likely to do. I tried to take a picture of it, to prove my cancerous bump was indeed what I believed it to be: cancer.

 

It didn't photograph well. In fact, it didn't photograph at all.

 

 

I have a small bump on the back of my neck, which, unfortunately, refused to photograph. I don't have any way to prove to the internet masses that it actually exists. Other than taking my word as a medical professional...

 

Luckily, I live with another medical professional, and James' diagnosis was an ingrown hair.

 

Pffft. I'm remaining firm in my self diagnosis of cancer.

Christmas Party

My Battalion Christmas party was a few days ago on Friday night. Although not officially mandatory fun, my Platoon Sergeant told us it was HIGHLY encouraged and then assigned us items to bring. This made the event mandatory.

I was assigned to bring stuffing. So I went to Walmart and bought 4 boxes of Stove Top stuffing for $1.75 per box and whipped that greatness up for my contribution to the party.

The Christmas party was blah. James and I didn't really want to be there. I made sure I spoke to my Battalion Command Sergeant Major and Commander. I also made it a point to talk to my First Sergeant and Platoon Sergeant to ensure important people in my chain of command saw my face at the party. We left without eating. I abandoned my stuffing.

When I went back to work on Monday, a lot of the Christmas decorations were still hanging around in the motorpool bay. I don't recall this particular decoration during the party, but it must have been there. Behold, the creepiest Christmas decoration in existence:

 

Look at it's eyes!!

I think it's a snowman. I'm sure it looked better at the party. Perhaps the examination gloves were less deflated... and maybe the nose wasn't so dreadfully out of proportion. However it looked originally is completely unknown to me. But it's sitting in front of my supply cage and now it's absolutely horrifying. I can't wait for Christmas to be over so someone will clean this scary thing up!!

3 More Years

Well... the Army is getting 3 more years of service from me.

 

 

I reenlisted today, on Friday the 13th, right before Battalion Suicide Stand Up day. I figured I'd need all that suicide prevention training I could get after signing my life over to Uncle Sam for 3 more years.

 

Just kidding!

 

I had my favorite nurse, Major Perkins, reenlist me today. She's been one of the best mentors and biggest inspiration I have had while being stationed at Fort Campbell. I'm really honored she took time out to participate in my ceremony. She kicks ass!

 

My reenlistment opportunities were slim this go around. The only options I had were needs of the Army (which is just as scary as it sounds-- it gives the Army permission to do just about anything to you) or stabilization (which will keep me in my current unit at Fort Campbell for 12 months). I chose stabilization. It's not like it really mattered. I'm going to be in Egypt for the majority of my stabilization.

 

I'm so proud to serve another 3 years, and can't wait for my next reenlistment window to open so I can reenlist to be indefinite in the Army and complete a 20 year career. Hooah! Go Army!

9 Inches Lighter

James and I went home to Iowa to see my parents for Thanksgiving. We had a really nice holiday. While I was home, I went shopping with Mom on Black Friday. It's not what you're thinking. We didn't wake up at 0300 to assault Walmart or wait in line outside Best Buy. No, instead we went out around noon and went to Pier 1 Imports and Kohls. The rush of crazy deal seekers had passed by the time we started shopping. I got a super cute yellow purse and a hair cut.

 

I've been wanting to cut my hair for a while. My hair was excessively long. So long that the ends would curl because they rested in my lap when I sat down. Having long hair is really cool looking but it's not really cool to find 2 foot hairs everywhere in the house. I find hair woven into my clothes from the dryer. I find hair floating through the air. I find hair in the refrigerator! It's everywhere.

 

I cut 9 inches of hair off.

 

 

I feel so light without the hair. And for the first few days I really liked it. But now that I've gone back to work and have to wear it in a bun, I regret cutting it so short. I have a tiny ridiculous bun on the back of my head now. I wear a bun way more often than not, so I will be growing my hair back to the excessive length it was.

 

I'm still finding 2 foot long hairs everywhere in the house, but eventually that will pass. And eventually my hair will be really long again and I can bitch about finding it in the fridge and start this vicious cycle all over again.

EFMB Fort Campbell: Nope

I'm not going to get into the specifics because broadcasting my failure hurts. I am not an EFMB badge holder. It wasn't in the cards for me to finish the 20k road march. My enemy won again.

 

I'll try EFMB again when I redeploy from Egypt next year.

 

Insert sad face here:

 

 

 

 

EFMB Fort Campbell: Down to the Wire

Today is the third day of lane testing. I am happy to report I am still very much in the game. My last combat testing lane is tomorrow-- CTL 3. One this lane I will have to assemble a radio and do a radio check, navigate under barbed wire on my back through a mud pit, extricate a patient from a truck, place a patient on a SKEDO litter and pull him to the litter obstacle course where I will have to take a litter over a low wall and a high wall, call in a 9 line medevac request and load patients into a Blackhawk helicopter. Oh that's all...

All that is what stands between me and my arch nemesis: the 20k road march. I've tried so hard to maintain good health while I've been in the field, but it was a lost cause. I have a terrible head cold just in time for the road march. I have absolutely no voice. I'm going to have to whisper all my commands on tomorrow's lane, and transmitting my 9 line medevac request might be a little sketchy. Yippee. I'm not going down without a fight.

Here are some sweet pictures taken during EFMB testing (most from CTL3): 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EFMB Fort Campbell: Written Exam

I took the EFMB written exam today. I went into the test very confident. I was the first one in my classroom to finish (in only 20 minutes). As everyone finished and joined me in the holding area, we started discussing all of the 60 questions we could recall. Typical Army test protocol... I started feeling less confident as I compared my answers.

Formation for all 4 platoons was held roughly an hour later. Like always, there were way more no-go's than go's so just the roster numbers of the go's were called out in numerical order. My roster number is 417. It didn't take very long to get to my number. But it was called. Woot! 417 is a go for the written test!

 

Only 42 candidates out of 150 passed the written exam and 19 of those candidates were in the 86th CSH. We are dominating as a platoon.

One task down, 3 lanes and land nav to go!

EFMB Fort Campbell: Candidate of the Day

Today I was the EFMB Candidate of the day. I was interviewed by 2 local newspapers about my epic 6 time EFMB journey yesterday. The story was about what keeps me going back and what the badge really means to me. They're going to run a story on me in tomorrow's Leaf Chronicle so my battle buddy SGT Stone went down my practice CTL 3 lane with me to take pictures to submit with the story.

http://www.theleafchronicle.com/article/20131114/NEWS01/311140036/Earning-badge-honor

Because of this, I got recognized as the Candidate of the Day and got some love from the 86th CSH blog. I didn't even know the CSH had a blog! How hip of my unit.
 

I try really hard to remain positive about EFMB through out these 6 attempts. But it really is pretty embarrassing that I haven't succeeded. It's nice to know that my perseverance is actually something people want to hear about instead of poke fun at me about. And if they are making fun of me, well fuck it, I'm going to get the badge this time and every badge looks the same regardless of how many attempts you made.

http://86thcsh.wordpress.com/

http://86thcsh.wordpress.com/efmb/

EFMB Fort Campbell: Still Swollen

The swelling was not a one time occurrence, as I has originally hoped. Except this morning, my right eye was way more swollen than the other. It gave me a Quasimodo-esque look. I still don't know what I am allergic to.

 

Swelling aside, I had day and night land nav yesterday and kicked the course's ass. 4/4  both day and night. Like I mentioned earlier, this land nav course is ridiculously easy. My platoon had a 97% pass rate at  night-- that should put it into perspective how easy this course is.

I'm going to pop a bunch of Benadryl tonight and hope I wake up in the morning looking less like a monster and more like an EFMB ass kicking machine... or just more like myself.

EFMB Fort Campbell: Swollen!

We hit the projected low, as wether goes, yesterday. Freezing rain and wind all morning, and then cold wind the rest of the day. These are always fun conditions to train in.

 

You know what they say, if it ain't raining, we ain't training.

In the late afternoon, I started to have very itchy eyes. I didn't really think too much of it. I suspected they were just dry from the wind. Later that night I saw how bloodshot my eyes were and still chalked it up to the wind.

But this morning I woke up with my eyes swollen shut. At first I thought, "Am I really still so tired I can barely open my eyes?" Then I checked out what I looked like on my reverse camera on my iPhone. I was totally shocked to see my eyes almost completely swollen shut.

 

I look like I have Down's Syndrome. It doesn't hurt. And it doesn't affect my vision. It just itches and I look really crazy. I went to sick call and got some Benadryl. It cleared up the swelling relatively quickly. I hope this was a one time freak incident. And if not, I hope I discover whatever I'm allergic to.

EFMB Fort Campbell: Confidence

I'm feeling ever so confident about this EFMB. I know it's only been 2 days, but I have a good feeling about this one. Maybe it's Lucky Number 6!

I had day and night land nav practice yesterday and I stomped the course. I had 2 day iterations where I found 4 out of 4 points in less than an hour. And for my night iteration, I found 4 out of 4 points in just under 2 hours. The course is probably the easiest course ever to exist in the Army. I am not complaining about this at all-- I'm not challenged, and it boosted my confidence just a little bit more.

 

And today I had CTL 1 (trauma lane) practice. It is verbatim the exact same CTL 1 lane that I had in March. I was floored it hadn't been changed up. Since it's exactly the same, I don't really need to learn anything, I just need a refresher. That's a great thing and it boosted my confidence just a little bit more.

This EFMB has a million times better accommodations than my last EFMB in March. First off, we are living in hard standing buildings that have working heat. AND we have mattresses instead of cots. We have showers available to us EVERY NIGHT. And a laundry facility on site! I don't know how to act being spoiled like this. Being clean and warm has boosted my confidence just a little bit more.

This just might be my EFMB. I just might walk out of this one a badge holder.

Black Listed

I tried to take Picasso Scissor Hands to the PetSmart groomers today to have his nails trimmed. His nails were clicking over the linoleum like the raptors in Jurassic Park, so it was time.

 

He's been to PetSmart about 100 times, but he is always a nervous wreck when he's there. His whole body shakes and convulses. He lays his ears back whenever someone approaches him. He won't eat a treat that's offered to him. He won't even play with another dog that sniffs him. Basically, he's nothing like himself when he's at PetSmart.

 

Today as I signed him in, he was shaking terribly as always. One of the groomers came out and tried to lasso him with one of their leashes to take him into the back room and Picasso jumped up and snapped at the leash. It scared the girl. Understandable. But Picasso was scared, too. I asked the girl if I could lasso him for her, and she told me, "No, I have to do it." Well, suit yourself. She tried lassoing him again and he snapped again.

 

She told me she absolutely could not trim Picasso's nails because he is a "mean dog". Mind you, Picasso was totally freaking out at this point. He couldn't get away from this woman and her lasso fast enough. I was miffed she referred to Picasso as a "mean dog" so I left without another word.

 

Once Picasso and I got into my car, I could smell it... he had expressed his anal glands during the second attempted lassoing. He had, no doubt, left anal gland juice all over the groomer's floor and I was too mad to notice. Ha, that's what you get, groomer lady: call my dog mean again and see what happens.

 

Does this even slightly resemble a mean dog?!

 

Older And With Less Body Parts

Today is Halloween. Happy Halloween! And, also, today is James' birthday. Happy 24th Birthday, James!

 

He is celebrating his birthday with one less body part this year. James had emergency surgery 3 days ago to have his appendix removed.

 

It all started on Sunday. He could barely get out of bed because it stomach hurt so bad. I thought he was just hung over from going out the night before for his birthday/Halloween. So I paid little attention to him until the evening, when I finally started investigating. I gave him Tylenol and Tums and he immediately leapt out of bed and vomited. What a great medic I am, right!? He stayed in bed all day.

 

On Monday morning while we were getting ready for work, he told me his pain was just as bad, but it had shifted to just his right side. Upon being seen at sick call, James was redirected to the Emergency Room to be evaluated for a burst or rupturing appendix. He was put on a morphine drip and awaited a slot in the surgical suite.

 

His surgery went well. No complications at all. His appendix had not burst yet. He was able to have one of his junior medics sit in on the surgery to watch as a learning experience. James never passes up the opportunity to train a Soldier, even at his own expense! He's a good NCO.

 

The surgeon managed to hide his incision in his tattoo on his belly:

 

 

James was discharged the same day and I took him home. He was able to walk out on his own. He said that he felt a million times better even though he had just been cut open. I guess that little, useless primitive organ was causing a lot of terrible pain if that was the case.

 

He's on convalescent leave for the next two weeks. So he's spending his birthday recovering with Picasso at home. He says he's still sore, and he's slow moving around the house, but he's getting better every day. Thank goodness he's ok. And thank goodness we have free healthcare!

 

Happy Birthday, James! I love you with or without an appendix.

Worth It

I work ridiculously long hours. I work weird hours. I work weekends. I work 24 hour shifts. I work when I'm told to and quit when I'm told to. I go to work before the sun comes up, and I come home after the sun comes down.

 

I'm exhausted. I'm worn out. I'm frustrated. I'm all around broken down and tired.

 

But you know what makes my job worth it? When a former Soldier texts me this:

 

 

I'm appreciated. I'm needed. I'm a role model. I'm a mentor. I'm a leader.

 

Worth it.

Silverfish

It's beginning to get cold in Clarksville, Tennessee. We've had frost adversaries all week which has lead to the tragic death of my giant geraniums I managed to keep alive all summer. That, in itself, is something to celebrate. I kept a plant alive all summer in Tennessee!!! Woot! There is a first time for everything!

 

So, in recognition of cold weather setting in, Nature from OUTSIDE has decided its time to move INTO the house. I know what you're thinking; you have mice again, Jackie, it's normal for you. No. I wish it was mice. Instead I have an overwhelming invasion of silverfish. The name silverfish doesn't sound like it could possibly be a scary thing. It sounds aquatic and rich.

 

Not. At. All.

 

This is what has been invading my home:

 

 

OF COURSE, that is not a picture I took. That picture is compliments of Google Images. Any time I see a silverfish in my home I am too busy running away from one or killing one in a frenzy to take time to photograph it.

 

I had a particularly horrific incident with a very resilient silverfish a few days ago.

 

So, I am pretty ghetto, and instead of having a laundry basket that I throw my dirty laundry into, I use the floor of my closet. I am well aware that I am housing dirty laundry on the floor where I keep clean laundry on hangers. However, I have yet to be told that I smell terrible while wearing seemingly clean clothes. Don't hate.

 

I went to do laundry, finally. As usual, I laid a used towel on the floor and pawed a bunch of dirty laundry out of my closet onto it. I was doing a load that was heavy in the military clothes department. I like to wash my Army clothes and my regular/delicate clothes separately. All the Velcro on my uniforms tends to destroy my underwear.

 

So anyways, I had a big load of Army laundry clutched to my chest in a towel that I was taking to the washing machine from the bedroom to the kitchen (where my laundry machines are located). I held the laundry as tightly as I could so I wouldn't drop anything. As I was stuffing the laundry into the machine, one of these horrible silverfish came scurrying out of my laundry.

 

Now, do you recall my verbiage? I had just been clutching this laundry to my chest. A silverfish had been hitching a ride. Essentially, I had been hugging this silverfish. I HUGGED A SILVERFISH!

 

This silverfish emerged frantically from a fold in the clothing, waving all it's legs and antennas at me. It stopped along the fly of a pair of my pants. It froze. I froze. And then I think my heart froze. I couldn't muster up the courage to catch the silverfish. You've seen what they look like! I wasn't trying to put hands on that! Instead, I poured detergent over it and slammed the lid down.

 

"You will die in suds", I decided aloud.

 

When it came time to change the laundry over to the dryer, I was cautious, but certain 45 minutes in soapy water killed the culprit. I carefully placed all my laundry into the dry and shut the door. I set the timer for an hour. I figured the silverfish had a fragile body that had disintegrated in the water and soap.

 

Boy was I wrong. As soon as I stepped away from the laundry machines, I saw that silverfish hanging out right in front of them. It wasn't nearly as agile as it had been. No, he was definitely stunned; yet still alive. IT HAD LIVED THROUGH THE WASHING MACHINE. I immediately flipped out and called for James to do the slaying. He took care of it and I immediately made him take the garbage bag (which was the silverfish's final resting place) out to the garbage can.

 

I loathe outside critters coming in to visit for the winter. YUCK!

 

October PT Test

I took my biannual PT test today, and let me tell ya, I was a little concerned about what I was going to score. First off, I completed a 20k last week and was still feeling pretty sore. Second off, I've been working in the Blanchfield Army Community Hospital (BACH) for the past week and a half. I've been working a combination of day and night hours in the ER and have not had a lot of time to prep myself for this PT test.

Let me explain prep. I stay in a general state of physical readiness at all times. And just before I know a PT test will happen, I start preparing my body to be tested: I do push-ups and sit ups like a crazy person for about a week before my test. That's all it takes to condition an OK body into a PT stud's body. Well, that's all it takes me to get a 90% or above in those events. The run is always iffy and really depends on the day and weather as to how I will score there.

So let me tell you about the weather today. It was cool. About 58 degrees; which is beautiful weather to run in. But it was also raining. Cold rain: the first cold rain of the Fall. I got to the 1 mile turn around point in 8 minutes. Which is totally awesome for a 30 year old chick! I thought for sure I'd finish my 2 miles in 16:30. Until I actually turned around and realized the wind was pounding in my face and all that icy rain was accompanying it.

I was much slower than I anticipated and crossed the 2 mile finish line in 17:15. I was so bummed out because that was 12 seconds slower than my run time in April's PT test. I was so worried I was going to lose promotion points in the PT category.

So I went to the locker room super bummed out and calculated my score:

 

 

After I saw the score, and realized I scored a 272 again, even with different scores in 2 of the events, I calmed down a little. I did not lose any promotion points. That's the first thing I was concerned about. The second thing I was concerned about was attaining 90% in each event. And I totally blew that.

 

Push ups: 93%

Sit ups: 92%

2 mile Run: 87%

 

I'm taking another PT test in a few weeks to try to improve my score. I need promotion points like it's going out of style. I need to be a Staff Sergeant ASAP.

ER Rotation

So I've been on an Emergency Room rotation at Blanchfield Army Community Hospital (BACH) at Fort Campbell for the past week and a half. I only get a total of 2 weeks of training/experience in the ER to prepare me for my deployment to Egypt in January. In case you were wondering, that is not nearly enough time in an ER to get prepared. Unfortunately, because of our unit's training schedule and the upcoming EFMB, that is all the time we have been afforded.

 

Also, unfortunately, BACH is the worst ER in Central Tennessee. When I say worst, I mean, when people have free health care (like you do in the Army), they will go to the ER for EVERYTHING. EV-ERY-THANG. When someone checks into the ER, their chief complaint, name and SSN get entered into a tracking system that you can see on the computers. Just so you know whose it each bed and whose waiting to be seen in the waiting room. Some of the chief complaints that show up are absolutely ridiculous and should under no circumstance be considered ER worthy. Such as:

 

o possible broken toe

o scabies x6 weeks

o rash

o child in fight x2 days ago

o abscess x4 weeks

 

I feel really bad for all the civilian health care providers out there who are waiting to see if ObamaCare is passed. Once health care is cheap/free for the general public, the ER waiting rooms are going to be packed for the same dumb, time wasting bullshit that military ERs see.

 

Just because it's free, doesn't mean you need to abuse it. Go to sick call. Suck it up. Be responsible.

 

On another note, one of the cooler things I've gotten to do in the ER is remove this toenail that was stubbed so hard it ripped the toenail up:

 

 

Gotta love toenail removals. Unless, of course, you are the removee. No one likes to be on the receiving end of that mess.

Dirty Thirty

Well, I'm 30 years old today.

 

 

I had to work in the Emergency Room all day. And yesterday I had to complete a 20k road march in under 3 hours to qualify to go to EFMB in November. Needless to say, I felt like I should have been a patient in the ER, not an employee. My body is crippled. So my big awesome birthday plans are to eat a ridiculous amount of Mexican food, watch ghost stories on TV and drink Whipped Vodka and orange soda all night while wearing orange sweatpants on the couch with Picasso and James. I am an exciting lady.

 

Happy 30th Birthday to me.

Shooting

James and I went shooting at the Montgomery County Shooting Complex a few days ago. James goes all the time but this was my first time. He's invited me to go a bunch of times, but his friends were always going to be in tow so I never tagged along. This time is was just the two of us.

James recently built to AR15s and needed help zeroing the EOTECH sights.

We decided to shoot hand guns first since I've never fired one of his Glocks before. To tell you the truth, I wasn't very comfortable not having a safety on the weapon. But I fired it pretty accurately considering. I shot a thousand times better than the 2 army dudes beside us at the range. One of them called me a killer, jokingly. When I brought my paper target up from down range I put him to shame and proved to him it's not just cute to call me a killer.

Turns out, I'm a killer on the AR15 as well. Firing the AR15 was basically the same as firing an M4. Except I've never used an EOTECH site. That site was so easy to zero and so accurate! I wish I had one on my M16 in the arms room! This is my zero progression:

 

Me walking in the zero.

 

I really enjoyed myself out on the range. I always say nothing makes me happier in the Army than firing weapons. And this was so much more relaxed and faster than any range I've fired at or been a safety on for the Army. I hope James and I go again soon.

Oktoberfest 2013

James and I went to Oktoberfest with a few friends on Friday night. This year it was held at the Clarksville Speedway which is just up the road from our house. We rode with some friends to the Speedway and intended to walk back so we could enjoy ourselves the way you're supposed to at Oktoberfest. I even wore my PT belt around my waist so I wouldn't get ran over on the way home. But, luckily, one of the girls we were with was 19 (is that really that lucky though?) so we had a sober ride home and didn't have to walk.

 

Oktoberfest in Clarksville, Tennessee is probably the lamest Oktoberfest in the world. Especially since there are so many Soldiers in the area who've been stationed in Germany and know what a real Oktoberfest is like. We went to get out of the house, drink big plastic steins of beer and to eat delicious bratwursts.

 

Yummy! Brats on hamburger buns!

James brought his own BIGGER plastic mug from home.

 

It was an unseasonably warm Oktoberfest this year. We probably would have stayed longer if it hadn't been so warm in the tents. I'm sure we'll go again next year if I'm already home from Egypt; those brats were super yummy and I'm not the kind of girl who turns down cold beer served in plastic.

 

 

 

CQ Duty

I am currently sitting in my unit's barracks on CQ duty. 24 long hours making sure the kids in the barracks behave themselves-- the longest babysitting shift ever. Luckily, Thursday nights aren't exciting around here and my biggest challenge has just been to stay awake.

I've watched 5 movies since I've been on shift: The Departed, Stranger Than Fiction, Resident Evil, Blades of Glory and The Sixth Sense. For someone who doesn't enjoy watching movies, that sure is a lot of movies! I also just mopped the floor out of the goodness of my heart and to get my blood moving again.

CQ has their own bathroom. It's clearly marked that it is for CQ USE ONLY. However, I've had at least 3 dudes (1 guy twice) come in here looking desperate in search for a bathroom just before PT started. I didn't have the heart to turn them away. I'd hate to be responsible for someone pooping on themselves during a run!

 

But it turns out, I should have turned those nasty jerks away because they desecrated my restroom.  I won't take a picture of that for you. Nor will I explain in great detail. However, I will say I am now forced to clean the bathroom not out of the goodness of my heart, but because of OSHA standards.

Only 3 more hours of duty before I can go home.

Lattice

I think every married woman has a Honey-Do list. I may not have been married long, but that Honey-Do list has certainly been in existence since James and I moved in together. At the top of the list for the past 2 and a half years has been to enclose our back deck with lattice.
 

 

James got to check it off the list this weekend. It looks great, all I have to do is stain it (which is a job for NEXT weekend) to match the rest of the deck. Something so small has made me so happy. Home improvements are my favorite.

Little Raspberry

I don't know why I thought this was so cool, but I did. So I'm sharing it. I found a tiny little raspberry growing in my front yard. At least I think it was a raspberry. I didn't eat it to test my theory. And I probably won't eat it because Picasso has probably peed on it. Probably.

 

 

Safety!

These are Nashville Police horses wearing PT reflective belts around their ankles. I thought this was hilarious. Non Army folks will not understand how safe these horses are now that they have these belts on.

 

SAFETY FIRST!

 

Muse In Nashville

Last night James and I saw Muse in Nashville.

 

 

We hadn't been to a concert since we left Fort Lewis in 2011. What the heck is wrong with us? I love live shows.

 

Our tickets were strange though. When James bought them, they were only offered as "paperless". When we entered the Bridgestone Arena, there was a woman with a little credit card scanner. She took the credit card you purchased the tickets with and if it was a match, your tickets printed out of her little handheld scanner. Naturally, James and I were wary of this "paperless" idea because it's way too easy to not really have something when you don't have anything tangible. But it worked out, so I'm ok with this ticketing process now.

 

Muse was awesome. I love it when you see a band who sounds like the record when you hear them live. When they don't, it makes you wonder how the heck they got a music deal in the first place. Must isn't one of those bands-- they sounded amazing. The played a few of my favorite tunes. And they sounded absolutely silly talking with their British accents in Nashville-- the home of country music.

 

We had a ton of fun! Well, at least I did. I think James was mostly along for the ride.

 

Wedding Hair

The only occasions I have ever had my hair done professionally have been for my two weddings. And I don't even count the first time anymore since this second updo kicked my old updo's ass all over the place. Hands down.

 

My wedding dress was a reproduction 50's vintage style tea length dress. So I wanted to keep my little retro theme when it came to hair and makeup. I know I do not have any ability to do this. (See my Military Ball photo for the high end of my hair styling skillz.) So I paid an arm and a leg to have a professional at the Planet Hollywood Spa make me beautiful for the day.

 

 

 

I couldn't have asked for a better updo. And my makeup was fabulous. I felt like a movie star.

 

This would be me as a movie star acting with a dinosaur:

 

 

Having this beautiful wedding hair made it an easy decision to ALWAYS have a professional do my hair whenever my dress costs more than $100. That's a special occasion dress price. Since I'm all done with getting married from here on out, that means Military Balls. I can't wait for the next Ball so I can be a beautiful movie star again... but without the dinosaur. Dinosaurs freak me out.

No Pictures

I've been slacking on making posts to the blog. Let me share my reason, which might sound more like an excuse. But I swear its a reason...

 

I shattered the screen of my iPhone and I am entirely too cheap to replace the glass and/or the phone. Since I shattered the screen, a myriad of things have begun to malfunction within the phone: Of course to include my camera. I like to have a picture to accompany my blogs, and if I can't take pictures, I just don't think to blog.

 

Reason. Not excuse.

 

And since I cannot add a picture I have taken on my iPhone recently, let me just add this hilarious rabbit meme.

 

 

That's probably better than anything I would have photographed anyway!

 

I'm trying to hold out on buying a new phone until I get back from Egypt, because the phone technology of today will be old and not so fun and shiny when I get back next year. Alas, the shattered phone screen is letting in moisture as it sits in my sweaty ACU pocket all day. So I might have to give in and replace it when it completely dies.

Bad Dog Mom

Picasso had a birthday this month! He's a 3 year old little man now!

 

And I could have sworn on my life his birthday was today, the 26th of August. I hyped up his birthday to him all weekend long. I hid his birthday presents until today.

 

I got an email from AKC yesterday that I opened today that read as follows:

 

 

Hmm. This is dated the 25th of August...

 

This means I've been celebrating his birthday on the wrong day for the past 2 years (since I didn't celebrate his OG birthday-- I didn't know who he was yet). I felt like the biggest douche of a dog mom. You'd think his own MOM would know his birthday and not have to be corrected by the American Kennel Club! I immediately showered him with his withheld birthday gifts. He didn't seem to have the horrified reaction I did. He mostly just ate his treats.

 

So for future notice, to all of you who follow Picasso and his endeavors, his birthday is actually August 25th. FYI. I know I need to adjust my calendar...

Wedding

James and I tied the knot in Las Vegas on August 10th. There are a million funny or sweet stories to tell, but I think the story that needs to be shared is a story of a catastrophic wardrobe malfunction.

 

**Let me preface this tale by saying I had just been bragging to some friends that this has been a completely stress free wedding for me. Karma is a bitch.

 

So I was getting ready in my parent's hotel room. As my mom was zipping up the back of my gorgeous wedding dress, the zipper broke. And when I say broke, I mean, the dress was completely zipped up the back but the zipper teeth weren't biting each other any longer. This dress was not meant to be backless, and there were only 30 minutes until the ceremony was supposed to start.

 

I burst into tears. Of course I burst into tears. Who wouldn't? My day was just ruined. I put on a ridiculous green dress (it had pockets-- you can't get married in a dress with freaking pockets) and wanted to back out of the ceremony.

 

James saved the day and called every resource he could think of to save the dress. He finally found a tailor downstairs in the casino mall who would look at the dress. I ran to the tailor with 2 friends in tow. The seamstress replaced the entire zipper in just about 15 minutes. I was zipped back into the dress-- and thank you sweet baby Jesus the zipper teeth stayed biting each other. I ran barefoot back through the casino and arrived at the chapel 10 minutes late.

 

Out of breath, but in a beautiful dress (without pockets), I married the man I love... who also saved the day. XOXO

 

 

 

 

Passport

 

Today I had to apply for a government passport. I think I'm going to have to turn in my current civilian passport to get the government passport issued to me, but its really not a huge deal since the only time I go abroad is with the military.

 

"So why do you need a government passport, anyway," you ask. Well let me tell you. A small group of Soldiers of the Combat Support Hospital has been tasked to occupy a few clinics in the Sinai Peninsula, Egypt. I am on the primary list to deploy early 2014.

 

Normally, I wouldn't start talking about something like this when it is so far away. Especially since I do not yet have orders in my hot little hands. But applying for the passport today made it seem completely real to me. So let's all keep our fingers crossed that this mission stays locked in and I'll soon be abroad again.