Foot Treatment

I found this picture on Facebook and it intrigued me:
 

Looks relaxing.

 

I'm skeptical. This could be because I am biased. I have THE WORST Army feet. My feet are always cracking and peeling. Skin absolutely refuses to stay alive and healthy on my feet. James has nicer feet than me and he's with the Infantry. My feet are disgusting.

I figured I'd give it a shot. Put it to the test. If it didn't work, oh well, the only ingredient I had to go out and buy was vinegar. If it did work, then the skin sloughing party would at least be medically interesting.

So I mixed it all up. I tripled the recipe since this concoction is obviously for people with a normal amount of dead skin on their feet. I sat on the couch and dunked my feet. It smelled really... strong. Picasso didn't want anything to do with it and it kinda hurt my eyes to be so close to it.

 

Slightly less spa-like.

 

Stupidly, I started this experiment while James was out of the house and I didn't get a towel out beforehand. So I was stuck in the stinky water for way longer than the recommended 10 minutes. After about a half an hour, my feet started to dye blue from the mouthwash. No! Blue feet were not what I was going for!

 

I did what I had to do, I scooted on my butt into my kitchen while pushing the bin with my feet ahead of me. Slowly, as to not slosh this stinky liquid everywhere.

After I scooted all the way to the stove and wiped my feet off with the hand towel, I anxiously inspected my feet for signs of dead skin I could "wipe away".

Pffffffft. What a rip off. All I was left with was a bunch of blue dead skin all over my feet. I guess I'm going to have to go get a professional pedicure tomorrow and horrify the ladies with my gross blue Army feet.

They didn't picture very blue, but BELIEVE me, they're blue!