I Made It!

I made it to Fairbanks, Alaska! It took 5 long days of travel through Canada and 11 total days on the road. It's a looong way from Fort Campbell to Fort Wainwright, especially when you stop through Tacoma in the middle!

Thank God the traveling is done. I know Picasso is happy. He's usually an amazing traveler, but the last 3 hours in the car today he reached his breaking point. He had had enough. He was whining and panting and chewing on his kennel. He wanted out of the car. I can't blame the guy. 

I didn't really have any adventures on the road today. I'm just glad to be done. I can say that I think the Yukon Territory might be one of the most beautiful places I have ever been on Earth. Below are some scenery pictures I took in both British Columbia and Yukon.

Random tree wearing a bra at a rest stop.... 

Travels Through the Yukon Territory

I crossed into the Yukon Territory today and started driving on the Alaska Highway. The name alone gave me a tiny ray of optimism that I am getting closer to my destination. Not too long after turning onto the highway, I saw an enormous bald eagle flying overhead. 

The Alaska Highway is a huge improvement from the trails I was driving on in northern British Columbia. There is actually paint on the roads and the speed limit has slightly improved. Gas stations have not been hard to come by-- I was told horror stories of trying to find gas in Canada. You just have to read the signs and be willing to get gas in places that look haunted.

I've been stopping every 2 hours or so to let the dogs out and take short walks. There was one rest stop that I swore I could hear the ocean. So we broke some brush and come out onto the beach of a gigantic beautiful lake:

My hotel was cozy. I didn't have neighbors on either side of me so the dogs weren't barking at every little noise. That was relaxing for me. The frenchies think they are guard dogs. This was also the first night Gertie didn't have any accidents. She is a dog who needs a routine and we have not had any kind of routine since the middle of July when my furniture was packed to be shipped to Alaska. There was a bar attached to my hotel, so that was convenient. I had poutine and a couple Canadian beers. I was really impressed with the Thirty Beaver beer. I don't judge the name, Canadians can't help themselves. 

I have a few more hours to drive through the Yukon tomorrow until I reach the Alaskan border. I can' wait! Canada is great, but it doesn't have shit on the US. 

The Highway

I'm slowly making progress across British Columbia. This place is huge, in case you were wondering. I drove approximately 10 hours today.

I saw a bear today! It took me 3 days before I saw any form of wildlife I had been warned was going to cross the road. I actually saw two bears and the first bear I saw was actually crossing the highway. That first bear I saw was the highlight of my day. I've never seen a real wild bear before. He was a little black bear. I was so excited when I saw him that I exclaimed, "ITS A BEAR!" to the sleeping frenchies in the back seat. They did not give a shit about the bear at all. The second bear I saw was sitting on his butt in the ditch on the side of the highway eating something.  

I keep using the word highway. It's technically a highway. It's called highway 37. But lets get real here. Half the time it's a gravel road.The other half of the time its a paved road. But it doesn't have lines painted anywhere. It's the wild west of highway travel.

The highway at its best.

The highway with no identifying lines.

The highway is really a gravel road.

The speed limit is impossibly slow, also. Not that I'm concerned about being pulled over by the police. I barely see oncoming vehicles anymore, never mind any kind of law enforcement. The speed limit is what the speed limit is on this highway because it's so curvy through the mountains. Oh, and because its freaking gravel. Death is imminent if you go too fast. 35 mph to 65 mph is all I can really muster. And 65 mph is technically speeding. 

I had to figure out how to switch my car over to read kilometers and liters of gas. It's still weird seeing it written on the dash that way. I can't wait to get into Alaska and be done with this metric system stuff. I have no idea how much gas I'm putting in my car at any given time. I'm not doing math-- I am an old dog who won't learn new tricks.

And speaking of dogs, here are pictures of my dogs in Canada:

I so badly want to call them French Canadian Bulldogs.

They are being amazing travelers. They've been on the road since the 7th and they are cooperating surprisingly well. They sleep in their kennels while we are on the road. We get out and go potty every 2 hours or so and take a short walk around a rest stop. They are great travel companions. 

Happiness Is....

Throughout my travels in Canada, I've noticed maybe two chain restaurants. Not fast food chains, but actual sit down restaurants. One is called Boston Pizza and I've made fun of the name every time I've seen it because Boston is not traditionally known for their pizza. Silly Canadians. But tonight I find myself dining in this establishment. The food is meh. But I'm going to eat it like there is a gun to my head because that's what Americans do.

Meh pasta. Good beer. 

Speaking of guns.

I'm sitting here, enjoying a beer, minding my own business and I accidentally made eye contact with a strange older gentleman across the dining area. When I accidentally made eye contact twice, I realised he was staring at me. He got up and came towards my table. I cursed Boston Pizza for being cheap and not having free wifi which forced me to glance around at other people. 

He says to me, "I was trying to read your shirt from across the bar. It says, 'Happiness is...'."

My shirt says 'happiness is a warm gun'. 1) because of the Beatles song that I love and 2) what read blooded American can't appreciate a recently used weapon!?

I didn't explain the shirt. I just read it to him. He then tells me he doesn't get it. He walked away; I breathed a sigh of relief but he turned around and came right back. "Oh, I get it, like a gun," he says to me and then made finger pistols at me.

No Sir, I really dont think you do get it. Please leave me alone.

I desperately need the internet to dine alone. 

This just doesn't add up. WTF, Canada. 

And before you ask me why the hell I was eating in a chain restaurant while traveling through a foreign country, it was the only restaurant within walking distance of my hotel that sold beer. 

Oh, Canada!

This is day one of my travels through British Columbia, Canada. My first time in Canada!

A little confident, aren't we, Canada?

I'm traveling alone due to unforeseen circumstances. I had to leave James in Tacoma with friends. James will meet me in Fairbanks via airplane after I arrive. So I am making the remaining 2,000 miles of our PCS (permanent change of station) with only the frenchies as companions. 

Like I said, this is my first time in Canada. It's only been 1 day, and I've only seen the southern portion of British Columbia, but I've already made some assumptions about Canada and Canadians.

1. So far, Canadians do not have beady eyes and flappy heads. But I'm keeping my eyes peeled. 

Terrance and Phillip

2. Canadians are restless when they have to stop unexpectedly on the highway. I've driven through quite a bit of road work and some of it has caused only one lane to be open. When you have to wait for your turn to drive on the lane, Canadians get out of their cars. They stand and face the road block with their hands on their hips like looking at it is going to make whatever the hold up is go faster or stop or explain itself. 

3. Canada expects A LOT of wildlife to cross the road. I have seen approximately zero animals since I've been here. But the road signs tell me to watch out for deer, elk, caribou, moose, bears and badgers. Wtf. Badgers?

4. Exiting the highway is an "at your own risk" activity. This was no concern for the Canadians who designed the highway system. Exit lanes? Nah, lets just post teeny tiny signs so people have to make very quick decisions about pulling off the road at 65 mph (or about 110 kph). I can't tell you how many times I've needed to stop at a rest stop but I chose life over being rear ended by the person behind me while I suddenly exit. 

I have approximately 3 more days of travel through Canada before I make it to the Alaskan border. I'm sure I'll make more assumptions during that time. Wish me and the frenchies luck on our travels!

Back to Washington

Our PCS adventures en-route to Alaska took us to Washington. 

I have such fond memories of Washington. I always thought I would like to be stationed at Fort Lewis again some day. But I think I am just nostalgic for the people. Because the place is bullshit. Not the whole place, of course. Parts of the state are beautiful and Seattle is really cool and the music scene is totally rad. 

But the traffic. I-5 might be Hell on Earth, Fuck the 5. I don't have the patience for that anymore and Fort Lewis is right in the middle of it. A 45 minute drive to go less than 10 miles makes me want to peel my face off. 

One day near Fort Lewis brought it to my attention that I never want to be stationed there again. No matter how great my memories are. 

And so the PCS journey continues. Onward to Fort Wainwright, Alaska I go!

I'm Back

Alright, so there was a leave of absence from my blog. I didn't think anyone read it. And I was personally losing interest since I have been back in school. But I visited friends and family this summer and everyone was like, "WTF." So, due to overwhelming requests to continue sharing my adventures, here I am. 

I'm between homes right now. That's the nice way of saying homeless. I wouldn't go so far as to refer to myself as a free range human because I am still employed. But I definitely do not have a home. James and I packed the frenchies into my car and we put Fort Campbell in our rear view and Fort Wainwright in the GPS. 

So here we are, en-route to Alaska for a 3 year adventure in the last frontier. 

Catching Up

I've been redeployed back to Fort Campbell and my home for a little over a month now. Transition back into the normal grind has been a little tough for me, so blogging about being blah seemed blah. I'm feeling less blah now so here goes a little blog post to wrap up the last month.

 

 

 

We are proud to announce a new member of the family. Gertrude the Impaler. We call her Gertie or Gert for short. She's the cutest thing in the world. She's so sweet... when she's not biting. We got her so Picasso would have a companion. After a few rocky days of getting territory (food bowls mostly) settled, the two frenchies are best friends. Currently we are in the middle of potty training her, and she is probably retarded and unable to learn because this is a venture not going well.

 

 

James started terminal leave from the Army. First matter to be taken care of was growing a beard. His beard is still in its infancy, but it's already starting to look good. He's happy to be getting out of the Army and start a new career. I'll hold it down in the Army for the family. 

 

 

For Thanksgiving, James and I took the dogs with us to Aberdeen Proving Grounds, Maryland, to see our friends Ashley and David. It was great to see them. You don't find friends like them often. I wish we were all stationed closer together again (we all met at Fort Lewis, Washington). Maybe someday we will be able to work that out. The dogs were amazingly well behaved on the 11.5 hour drive both ways. They were less well behaved at their house, but Picasso won their daughter Jayla's heart, so I can't complain.

 

I am on my last day of 23 days of block leave. 23 days is too long to be away from work. Even though I've been going to the gym and have been doing hot yoga, I still managed to put on weight while on leave. I swear, if I could be paid for gaining weight quickly, I'd be a rich woman. So I have a little bit of work ahead of me to get into shape for ALC (Advanced Leaders Course) in January.

 

That brings us up to speed I believe.

 

I'm gad to be home.

Motion Sick

I took the bus to South Camp. Almost immediately upon leaving North Camp, I became extremely motion sick. I mean, we couldn't have been 2 miles away from the gate before I started sweating and feeling nauseous. 

I took a Dramamine and waited.

I wasn't getting better. In fact, I was getting worse. I had to puke. So I started looking around for things to puke in, but without really looking around because looking around make me feel more sick. 

There was a box full of boxed lunches close by. I grabbed a boxed lunch and opened it. The smell of sandwiches didn't do much for my nausea. I gripped on to that little cardboard box for about 15 minutes saying little silent prayers that I wouldn't have to puke in it. 

But I puked. I puked 4 times into that little cardboard box. 

Something funny about cardboard boxes, they're not very water tight. I ended up with water/puke all over my jeans and on the floor of the bus. Thank god I didn't have time for breakfast, so they only thing I had in me to throw up was water. 

This is where my vomit ended up. At least I missed my cute shoes.

 

I felt incredibly better after I puked. Good enough to close my eyes and let the Dramamine take me to sleep. 

Shopping in Israel

Some of our American MFO freedoms have been restored! And one of those is a day trip to Be'er Sheva to go to the mall on a shopping trip. Even though we are not in a war zone (wink wink), we must travel in convoys and must wear our body armor and helmets to travel through Egypt. Sounds like something everyone wears to the mall, right? Everyone not in a war zone...

 

Just before you cross the border to Israel, all the body armor is stored at an MFO outpost. You don't need all that protective gear in Israel because it really isn't in a war zone. While we were killing time at the Fijian outpost, waiting for the boarder to open, I met a cat. This cat was really nice, but something happened to his lip and he looked like Two Face from Batman:

 

 

Two Face tried to stow away into Israel with us. He jumped in the van and hid under the back seat. We shooed him out, but I was tempted to let him go to Israel and give him to opportunity to have a better life. Smuggling animals across the boarder is probably illegal though.

 

The mall in Be'er Sheva is like an outdoor outlet mall. There were all kinds of stores to go in to. Some modern and some not so much. A few of the clothing stores we walked into looked like they hadn't received new inventory since 1992-- but there were people buying this stuff like it was the hottest new trend. And then there were actual modern American stores like American Eagle. I bought a couple cute blouses, a pair of jeans and two super cute dresses. 

 

Most of the clerks tried to speak Hebrew to us at first. My confused face and simple reply, "No" tipped them off to switch to English. All the receipts were in Hebrew too, so I didn't know where to sign. I guessed. I probably looked retarded. And everything was in shekels, so I only had a vague idea of what I was spending.

 

Tracy and I ate in a restaurant called Burgus Burger Bar. We thought it was just going to be a burger joint, but when we walked in, it was much nicer than we anticipated. We ordered grilled chicken wraps that were absolutely off the hook with sautéed peppers and guacamole inside. We also ordered virgin strawberry daiquiris that were basically the best thing on earth. It was hands down the best meal I've eaten since I deployed. I gorged myself. I couldn't help myself.

 

 

 

It was so nice to walk around like a normal person and feel like I'm not deployed to the desert. We only had 3 hours total of shopping time since we had to get back to the boarder crossing check point in time for curfew. No one is allowed out after 1600 or the Egyptian Army has permission to open fire if they feel the need to. Once again, we are not in a war zone. I'll go again in a few months to indulge again for an afternoon.

Stalactite Cave & Tank Museum

I almost died on the third and final day of my Israel tour.

In my old age (really actually just since I've been deployed to Egypt) I've found myself getting extremely motion sick. I was feeling really rotten on my first day on the bus while we were bouncing down the winding highway to the Dead Sea. But I was smart on the first day and had Dramamine in my backpack. On the third day I was an idiot and put my backpack under the bus-- with the Dramamine still in it. So as the bus was bouncing around on a winding highway towards the caves we were going to explore, I was suffering. I was sweaty and nauseous. And the road just never seemed to end. I needed desperately to get my drugs from under the bus. I really thought I was going to vomit just before we arrived to the caves. I was searching for something to vomit into. All I had was my purse-- and I didn't want to vomit into my purse.

After I gobbled some Dramamine and drank some water OFF the bus, I was able to enjoy myself at the caves we visited.

The cave we visited is called Stalactite Cave, near Jerusalem. It's name isn't exactly creative, but it was exactly what we got to see. The cave was so cool!!

 

 

 

 

 

After we toured the cave, we went to the Israel Armored Vehicle Museum. All the tanks Israel has ever used in their Army-- and then some-- were on display for us to check out and climb all over.

 

 

It was cool, but we didn't get much time there because we had to make it to the Egypt border before a certain time so we could get back into the country. The border has hours of operation and if you miss the window, you're out of luck.

I had a really nice 3 day trip to explore Israel. When I found out I was being deployed to Egypt, I couldn't wait to sight see. But all the civil unrest over here has made that nearly impossible. I was lucky I got to experience as much as I did. And, thanks to Dramamine, I didn't die.

Masada & The Dead Sea

I am currently on an MWR bus trip to Israel. Today was the first day of the trip, so we spent half the day traveling. Not because North Camp is really very far from Jerusalem, but because it takes hours to get through the boarder between Egypt and Israel-- it really depends on how the guards feel that day as to how long you'll wait.

The other half of the day we toured Masada and swam in the Dead Sea.

Masada was really cool. I didn't have the slightest clue what it was until today. I'm not a Jewish or Roman history buff. I had a whole lot of knowledge dropped on me today about a Jewish King from around year 20 who built an enormous hide out called Masada in the desert of Israel so he could hide from his people when they had uprisings and wanted to kill him. This dude spared no expense on his hideout-- it was really legit and carved into the rock on the side of a cliff. Then long after he was dead a bunch of Jewish zealots moved into Masada and the Romans wanted to kill them. The Romans spent a lot of man hours making ramps to get up to Masada and they failed for a few years. But then they finally lit the front gates to Masada on fire and gained entry. But-- oh no!! All the Jews stabbed each other to death and committed suicide before the Romans got to the top of the hill. Bummer for the Romans who wanted to enslave the Jews.

 

 

 

 

But anyways, history aside, I toured the mountain top complex and it was really cool. Masada overlooks the Dead Sea. Which is where we went next.

 

 

The Dead Sea was so awesome. I was so buoyant that I didn't need to tread water to stay afloat. It just looked like we were all standing in chest deep water. I swam out and had trouble sitting back up because my legs wanted to float out from under me! The water is so ridiculously salty. We were advised not to put our heads underwater because it would burn our faces. I went ahead and followed that advise. I didn't want to melt off my face. After I got out of the water and rinsed off, I realized my skin was incredibly soft and smooth. I always thought that Dead Sea skin treatment stuff was a bunch of bullshit but apparently it's not! So next time you're at the mall and some pushy dude at a kiosk tries to sell you that skin care stuff from the Dead Sea, go ahead and consider it.

Splash For Cash

There are lots of monetary incentives while you are deployed to a combat zone. Although I'm technically not in a combat zone, we get many of the same perks. We get hazardous duty pay and family separation pay just like the Soldiers in Afghanistan do. But the only way we qualify to for a tax free paycheck, like combat deployed Soldiers, is to do Combat Water Survival Training (CWST) every month in the Red Sea.

This has been coined Splash For Cash.

So every month all the American Soldiers who are stationed at North Camp take a trip to South Camp so we can earn our tax free status. (South Camp is like paradise and has a private beach right on the Red Sea.) And this is how CWST works: you swim out to a buoy about 50 meters into the sea in your ACUs and boots and tread water for 5 minutes and then float on your back for 5 minutes. Then you swim back to shore. And you're done. It's like making $25 a minute. Who else can say they have a job that pays so well!?

I had an absolute blast! I had forgotten how much I love swimming in the ocean since its been years since I moved away from San Diego. I love swimming with the waves, and it was super easy to stay afloat in the Red Sea because it's so salty. There were jellyfish all over the place, but I wasn't stung. I wish I could have stayed out in the water all afternoon.

 

Life vests are provided to wear under your ACU top if you are interested, but I didn't use one. I'm too cool for that. It's a good thing a lot of people did use them; most had never swam in the ocean before and the waves were kind of choppy today. Poor swimmers galore. And I looked like a badass swimming around like it wasn't a big deal.

 

So I splashed for cash today and it was awesome. I can't wait to come back down to South Camp to do this again next month. 

Deploying Is Hard

Over the past 3 days I have internationally hitch hiked over 3 continents. As you all know, I was set to deploy this January, and well, I did. I'm in Egypt right now, boys and girls. And it was not easy by any stretch of the word to get here.

We left Fort Campbell on the morning of January 10th. Our flight was to leave out of Nashville so we were bussed to the airport. We checked all our 50+ pound duffle bags and thought we were good to go. After waiting on our delayed flight to Newark, NJ for a few hours, the flight up and got cancelled from under us! My Commander had to scramble to get all 28 of us on some flight, some way, somehow. 

So we flew to Houston, TX. Our original flight from Newark was supposed to take us to Frankfurt, Germany. Well that was totally out of the picture now, as we had to travel through London, England instead. Of course we waited nearly 8 hours in Houston before we could board the redeye to London.

 

Once in London, which certainly isn't Frankfurt, we had to beg for a flight into Cairo from Egypt Air. They were very displeased with our last minute 28 passenger request. It was hell trying to get our 50+ pound duffle bags transferred from one airline to the next in one country to the next. We waited in London for another 8 hours. 

 

I ate some DELICIOUS fish and chips in London.

When we finally landed in Cairo, Egypt and we deplaned onto the runway, the smell hit me immediately. It was very early in the morning and it was that familiar damp, standing water and garbage smell that Iraq has. I never thought I'd smell that again. 

Immigration and customs were a breeze to get through. Our baggage came around the carousel. Duffle bag after duffle bag. 56 were supposed to come out. Only 53 made it all the way from Nashville to Cairo. It was pretty amazing we didn't lose more, but absolutely devastating to the people who lost an entire duffle. The worst part is, all 56 duffles were tagged wrong. When we had to switch planes to go to Houston, the guys in Nashville who loaded our heavy duffles were pissed and slapped anyone's new tag on any duffle. So the missing bags in Cairo can't really be tracked because the tag for their bag made it to the destination, but not their actual bag. Huge disaster!

We got shuffled to the coldest damn terminal in the Cairo airport where we waited with the remaining duffles for another 4 hours. That's where the Czech Air Force picked us up and brought us to North Sinai, Egypt.
 

I have never had a more tiring trip ever. Ever.  3 days in airports is absolutely bad. But I'm here now, and I'm ready for this adventure to start!

Passport

 

Today I had to apply for a government passport. I think I'm going to have to turn in my current civilian passport to get the government passport issued to me, but its really not a huge deal since the only time I go abroad is with the military.

 

"So why do you need a government passport, anyway," you ask. Well let me tell you. A small group of Soldiers of the Combat Support Hospital has been tasked to occupy a few clinics in the Sinai Peninsula, Egypt. I am on the primary list to deploy early 2014.

 

Normally, I wouldn't start talking about something like this when it is so far away. Especially since I do not yet have orders in my hot little hands. But applying for the passport today made it seem completely real to me. So let's all keep our fingers crossed that this mission stays locked in and I'll soon be abroad again.

4th of July with The Clarks

I flew from Boston to Aberdeen Proving Grounds this morning to see one of my best friends and her family. Ashley and I were roommates when I was stationed at Fort Lewis. We got to see each other briefly last summer while I was attempting EFMB at Fort Sam Houston-- where she was then stationed.  But really, it had been over 3 years which is WAY too long since I've seen this girl!

Ashley and her husband David had their first baby 4 months ago. Jayla is a very sweet and adorable little baby. As many of you know, babies and Jackie are awkward together. I have not worked up the nerve to hold her yet, but Jayla and I have an understanding that I will eventually pick her up. And I will try not to hold her like she is dripping, like I did the last baby I held (that didn't turn out well). 

Pretty, pretty drool princess!

After my very exhausting drive from Providence to Logan International Airport at 0300, Ash and I decided being bums would be perfectly acceptable so we just hung around the house all day. I know it's the 4th of July, and it's the most super American holiday but I'd rather bum around and grill some burgers and relax than fight crowds to see 30 minutes of fire works. I am very aware I love America without fireworks.

Besides, I've made a new best friend at the Clark household. This is MJ, their half wiener half some other kind of mystery dog:

MJ loves Aunt Jackie.

MJ (which is short for Michael Jackson-- check out that one white paw) wants to play with me all the time. He brings me his toy chicken and whines until I throw it. Even if he's not close by, he still whines until I throw it. He wants to be in my lap at all cost. I really like this little wiener dog.

I'm so glad I came to visit Ash and David. Happy Independence Day 2013!

First Day In Rhode Island

 

Today was my first full day in Providence. James was an excellent tour guide and showed me a bunch of sights and places he grew up.

All the homes are old and unique. Including the house James grew up in. I didn't take pictures of random homes because I thought that might make me a creeper. But believe me, most of the homes are 100+ years old and very ornate and brightly painted. And the hydrangeas in all the yards were absolutely beautiful. I said so every time we passed them, you can ask James. I probably sounded like a broken record.

We went to the Rogers Williams Park Zoo today. It was a small zoo, but it had a few of those penny smashing machines (James knows I love those) so he wanted to make sure I had a few from Providence. Plus I love animals. The elephants were eating with their gross trunks, the camels were chewing their cud, the giraffes were drooling and the bald eagles were hanging out being Americans. What more can you ask from a zoo?

 

 

I love zoos. I make a point of going to the zoo in any city that has one. After the zoo we went across the park to the Natural History Museum. There were some good exhibits dealing with space and Rhode Island history. I found this guy upstairs:

RAWR!

 

We had an incredible dinner at a Greek restaurant to wrap up the night. While eating we had some prime people watching opportunities. We saw this guy multiple times doing many things while extremely high. Most of the time he was sitting in this living room chair on the street, actively smoking pot and handing out fliers.  We also watched a pedestrian come within inches of being smashed by a speeding pickup truck.

 

This did not take away from the delicious meal one bit. I want to eat the chicken I had there every night for the rest of my life. True story. Great day sight seeing in Providence.