Happiness Is....

Throughout my travels in Canada, I've noticed maybe two chain restaurants. Not fast food chains, but actual sit down restaurants. One is called Boston Pizza and I've made fun of the name every time I've seen it because Boston is not traditionally known for their pizza. Silly Canadians. But tonight I find myself dining in this establishment. The food is meh. But I'm going to eat it like there is a gun to my head because that's what Americans do.

Meh pasta. Good beer. 

Speaking of guns.

I'm sitting here, enjoying a beer, minding my own business and I accidentally made eye contact with a strange older gentleman across the dining area. When I accidentally made eye contact twice, I realised he was staring at me. He got up and came towards my table. I cursed Boston Pizza for being cheap and not having free wifi which forced me to glance around at other people. 

He says to me, "I was trying to read your shirt from across the bar. It says, 'Happiness is...'."

My shirt says 'happiness is a warm gun'. 1) because of the Beatles song that I love and 2) what read blooded American can't appreciate a recently used weapon!?

I didn't explain the shirt. I just read it to him. He then tells me he doesn't get it. He walked away; I breathed a sigh of relief but he turned around and came right back. "Oh, I get it, like a gun," he says to me and then made finger pistols at me.

No Sir, I really dont think you do get it. Please leave me alone.

I desperately need the internet to dine alone. 

This just doesn't add up. WTF, Canada. 

And before you ask me why the hell I was eating in a chain restaurant while traveling through a foreign country, it was the only restaurant within walking distance of my hotel that sold beer.