I am like Freddy Krueger. No, I am not a burned up child molester who stalks and murders children in their nightmares. But I do have very long, very sharp fingernails that slice through flesh like it's their job.
The toilet trailers at Camp Virginia are separate from the showers. They have one toilet and one sink inside them. The have no air conditioning. To enter one in the middle of the day is to take your life into your own hands. No joke. If I spend longer than 60 seconds in there, I come out with sweat rolling out of my hair line and my life has flashed before my eyes. On top of the unbearable heat, they smell funky.
And I realize that "funky" is a very broad description for a bathroom smell. I've been trying to pin point the odor since I came to Camp Virginia and I think I've finally narrowed it down. It's a delicate blend of moth balls and urine.
So, back to the Freddy Krueger comment... I was brushing my teeth in that bathroom death trap one morning, it was already at least 110 degrees, and I was refusing to breathe through my nose. Have you ever tried brushing your teeth with your mouth wide open? I was drooling, I was sweating and my nose was running: there was snot everywhere. Long story short, I blew my nose. And with my Freddy Krueger fingernails, I sliced the sensitive skin between my nostrils and my upper lip like a knife through butter, or like a glove of knives through flesh.
It hurt. It was the worst teeth brushing experience I've ever had.
Eww, that bathroom sounds fabulous. Maybe the Army should bottle that fragrance and sell it as air freshener! You know, for those guys who love deployment and can't get enough of it. Sorry to hear about your cut. And now that I think about it, you have a random assortment of battle scars.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I have "special" accidents.
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