Grimey Augusta

So here I am in lovely Augusta, Georgia once again. Last time I was here I drove past a lot with thousands of cement lawn ornaments for sale and it intrigued me, but it was a little too close to the van with the pit bull for me to stop at the evening hour I passed it. So I set out in the bright day light to check it out today.

Imagine a lot half an acre long and at least 50 feet deep jammed packed of cement lawn ornaments. There were thousands. Easily. I started browsing along the front and I came upon the owner of this lot. Based on the warning sign posted out front, I'm assuming this was Mr. Grimes. Mr. Grimes was black guy who was approximately 190 years old.

Immediately he starts in on my tattoos. He was really hard to understand. I think his ignorance was catching his tongue. What I gathered was he wasn't a fan of the tattoos. So I kindly excused myself and kept browsing. I had gotten to the end of the piles of lawn ornaments and started to walk into an inner chamber of lawn ornaments when I hear Mr. Grimes yelling, "HEY GIRL HEY GIRL!" So I popped my head out.

He was all worked up into a tizzy, shaking his cane at me, shouting at me to come out of there at once; he didn't want me taking any pictures in there. Because, "if you're taking damn pictures in there you ain't gonna buy nothing."  

This didn't really seem very hospitable, or a sound way to treat a potential customer. I made my decision to leave then (even though I had seen a stone gargoyle that I really wanted). Good ol' Grimey decided to make my decision to leave concrete (ha ha, pun intended). As I'm walking past him he says, "If you're back there you're gonna steal."

Steal? Steal a 50lb lawn ornament?

He says to the back of my head, "Look at all those damn tattoos. It's a shame you did that to yourself. What the Hell kind of job can you have looking like that?"

Well, Grimey, I proudly work in the United States Army. Of course he didn't deserve that answer. I said nothing to him. As I left I took a picture of his lot out of the window of my car. Just to spite him. What an ignorant jerk.