Bug BBQ

I woke up early on this fine Independence Day and walked the dogs, weeded a garden and laid some mulch. I stopped to admire my yard work and saw one of the bushes next to my shed looked... a bit thirsty, for lack of a better word. So I went to investigate and see why the bush was so threadbare.

I got real close to the bush and put my face right into this:

 

That's right folks, those are disgusting worm things in cocoons. ALL OVER THE BUSH. There had to be 300 of these awful things hanging off the bush. They were swinging around in their cocoons and poking their gross little heads out. I was horrified.

I didn't know what they were so I googled it to find out. Turns out, they are called Evergreen Bagworms. They lay eggs in cocoon things made out of the organic material of whatever bush they're on. So they are super camouflaged. Then in late June (or the 4th of July) they hatch and these gross worm things stick their heads out of the cocoon and start eating the bush. These jerks almost ate my entire tree. There are so many of them!

My thoughts immediately went to eliminating them. The internet kept suggesting organic ways to get rid of them-- let birds eat them, pick them off with your fingers, get rid of them in May before they hatch.... what happens if it's past May!?!? I wanted these things to die, so screw the organic way.

 

I went to Walmart with murder in mind and bought plant safe insecticide. No where on the label did it specifically say it would kill Bagworms, but it was the best available. I came home and doused the tree. Those little guys immediately sucked back into their bags like little turtles. Although their food source was now covered in poison, I wasn't satisfied that I killed the worms. I gave it time to see if it would produce some results as the insecticide set it.

A few hours later I went back to the bush. Those sons of bitches didn't seem to mind being covered in poison one bit. I exhausted all my bug killing techniques with poison, so I had to call on James to help me. I needed him to bring the big guns.

He inspected the bush, decided that the bush was a lost cause and that we should burn the bugs. I hated the bugs so I agreed.

 

So James made a torch and BBQ'd the bugs. They fell off the bush in a cascade of burned up cocoons. I bet they immediately regretted taking up residency and eating that bush. Once they were all charred, James chopped down the bush and burned it in the firepit. We're not taking any chances that these worms could live and destroy anything else in our yard. Once I'm satisfied they've been eradicated, I will plant a replacement bush in the old one's place.

So much for admiring my yard.

Happy 4th of July.