Vehicle Nomad

My day starts at 0430. It's a disgusting time to wake up. So by 1130, I'm ready for a lunch time nap. The only available place for theses naps are in my vehicle.

I basically live out of my Ford Escape like a nomad. I eat in my truck. I sleep in my truck. I've been known to change clothes in my truck (don't you judge me). My truck is a storage place for military gear, paperwork and dog supplies. I apply makeup in my truck. I pluck my eyebrows in my truck.

I used to have self respect and pride which kept me from doing said things. But now that I am trapped on Fort Lewis for 14+ hours a day, I am forced to live like an animal.

This afternoon I passed out with the heat blasting and Modest Mouse on the stereo for a good hour and a half. It was an amazing nap... except I woke up with the tell tale signs of amazingness all over my face.

BUSTED.

The CSH? I Think Not!

Admittedly, January hasn't been an active month of blogging. It's been an active month of stupid bullshit gifted to me from the Army which has consumed most of my free time. Nothing out of the ordinary as bullshit goes, just seemingly more of it.

In the midst of the Army piling on my NCO duties, I am dealing with my PCS to Fort Campbell, KY. I have my orders! My actual in writing paper orders. I was really excited until I saw the pin point I was assigned to: the CSH. That stands for Combat Support Hospital. I am horrified by this turn of events. It's going to be nothing but girls and officers. And girl officers. To make things worse, the CSH I am assigned to is also deployed. I am unable to deploy until September when my dwell time is completed, so I will be on rear detachment. For anyone who is unsure what rear detachment comprises of, it's everyone who was unable to deploy for whatever reason. Pregnancy, Soldiers pending legal action, known drug offenders... the list of undesirables goes on. Oh boy.

So immediately my brain is scrambling for a way to get out of this situation. Nothing was coming to mind. I was about to lie down and just take it when, like a beacon of heavenly light, a man stepped into my life and handed me his business card. He was a CID agent, and he was offering me a job. I had impressed him in the interview I had given him earlier. He was extending me an opportunity I couldn't refuse. A few days later, I met with the head NCO over at the CID office on Fort Lewis and he interviewed me. He said he will do whatever is necessary to help me put together my CID packet and reclass out of being a Medic and towards being a Federal Agent. And he'd do it all while still guaranteeing I will go to Fort Campbell in the end.

It all is happening so fast! I'm really excited about this opportunity. There is still a lot that needs to be done and a few hurdles that need to be conquered. Hopefully everything checks out and I am able to reclass from 68W to 31D.

What Did I Do This Year?

Oh my god, it's the end of December already. 2010 is almost finished. This year flew by so fast! And I wonder, what did I even do this year??

I can itemize that thought:

• Promoted to Sergeant
• Got Divorced
• Bought a Puppy as Expensive as a Used Car
• Fought a War
• Fell in Love with a Really GREAT Dude
• Crashed my Truck

That's what I've come up with to sum up 2010. It doesn't really seem like too much, but when you read the "fought a war" bullet, it puts things into perspective. I spent 9 of the 12 months in 2010 deployed in the middle east. That tends to eat up a lot of your free time to accomplish goals and do neat things.

Bring it on 2011! I'm ready!

Christmas Wrap-Up

In case you were wondering, I had a very merry Washington Christmas.

My mom and dad came from Iowa to spend the holiday with me. It was a 4 day Seattle-Tacoma tourist event. We went to Pike Place Market and Pioneer Square for some shopping and sight seeing. We went on the Seattle Underground Tour, which was both educational and cool. I never would have guessed that the beginnings of this great city were based on shit and sewage. Heh, you learn something new everyday. We saw the Space Needle and ate some super delicious Chinese food. We had a desert called a Ram Potato which was vanilla ice cream rolled in cocoa and served with whipped cream on it (totally delicious). We also went to the Tacoma Museum of Glass, which was really neat.

Of course, it was raining the entire time we were on our tourist adventures; just to really drive it home to my parents that this area of the country is yucky. I can't wait to move to Fort Campbell, and I'm sure they're anxious to visit me in a place that is dryer.

Christmas dinner turned out fabulous. And, of course it did because Ashley and I tag teamed the kitchen and cooked some amazing awesomeness. When put together, the two of us can make a serious feast. I felt like a bloated calf after dinner, and I think that is the best description for culinary success.

I made some Christmas gift cash and spent it promptly today at Pier One. (Thanks Grandma, that's what I spent your money on!) My living room is just that much more cute now because of the new wall hanging I bought. I got tickets to see The Decemberists in Portland in February! I'm super excited to see my favorite band. I cleaned up pretty good. It was a good holiday. I think I'll host Christmas again next year. :)

Car Rides

I spy with my little eye... the cutest face in the world!

Picasso likes to go on car rides. He prefers to ride on my lap. It wouldn't be much of an issue since he only weighs 12 pounds, but he doesn't sit still well. He feels the need to turn around a lot in my lap and lick my face and chew on either the seat belt or my patches and name tapes on my uniform. I'm probably teaching him a horrible habit, because when he's full grown, I'm not going to want a 25 pound dog riding in my lap. I'm such a push over and his little distressed face and whimpers from the passenger seat break my heart. He's a Momma's Boy and he gets what he wants!

Bows Taste Yummy

Picasso is in the Christmas spirit. Are you?

Bacon Flip

Have you ever wondered what bacon flavored vodka tastes like? Or are you shaking your head in disbelief that bacon flavored vodka exists? Well it does. And I've tasted it.

I didn't actually taste it by itself, however. I may be from Iowa, but I do not like bacon. I like vodka, but my dislike of bacon trumped that. Luckily, the reason the bacon vodka was purchased was to be an ingredient in something much more spectacular: The Bacon Flip.

The Bacon Flip ingredients are as follows:

• 1 raw egg
• Bacon Vodka
• Bailey's Irish Cream
• Maple Syrup

It's breakfast in a shot. Our shots got a little excessive because the ingredients were not measured out at all. So it turned into a plastic cup of breakfast madness.

We'd been hyping ourselves up about the Bacon Flip all week at work. And when I was stirring the egg up in my cup, I was very apprehensive. I also don't like eggs. I know, I don't think I'm really a native Iowan. But truth be told, the Bacon Flip was not nearly as awful as it could have been. The maple syrup masked everything. The worst part of the whole experience was feeling the egg go down because it was stringy and felt like a snot rocket.

The Bacon Flip was conquered. Let it be known.

Sailor Jerry

The really cool part of being stationed at Fort Lewis, Washington, is that Seattle is in my backyard. It's great to have a big city with tons of stuff to do so close. Plus, since Seattle is a hippie liberal city, the stuff they offer to do is usually really cool!

On Friday night, James and I went into the city to go see a documentary on Sailor Jerry, the legendary tattoo artist. Sailor Jerry has also become a brand of spiced rum that carries his likeness in a 92 proof bottle of awesomeness. I like tattoos. I like spiced rum. The whole concept is genius to me.

The venue the Sailor Jerry documentary was held at was an old theater that probably only held 150 people, MAX. As soon as we walked in, we were handed 2 free drink vouchers and free popcorn. No admission cost. Awesome. Upon entering the theater, there is a bar set up on the stage to redeem said free drinks. Even more awesome. I'm watching the bartender pour my Sailor Jerry and Coke, and it's easily 80% booze. Can this night get any more awesome, really!? Oh yes it can! A few minutes later the girl who was at the door handing out free drink vouchers came by and gave us 4 more! AWESOME!

Besides the free booze, which got me quite toasty, the documentary was really good. It was interesting. I learned a lot. And it was entertaining. I would have paid money to see it. When I leave Fort Lewis to go to Fort Campbell, I'm really going to miss Seattle. Nashville is close to Campbell, though. Maybe I'll be able to cook up some fun there, too.

Another 4 Years

Uncle Sam got me for another 4 years.

It's rough to sign a piece of paper that guarantees you will not make any of your own decisions for X amount of time. But, I'm happy with my decision. I love the Army. I had a 3 year break in service from 2005-2008 and I just wasn't as happy as a civilian. I need this craziness. That probably makes me a little warped, but crazy people generally do well in the military!

This reenlistment will take me to Fort Campbell, Kentucky. I do not have orders yet, so I don't know when my report date will be. I'm just glad I got the first post I asked for in the reenlistment process. I didn't have Big Army jerking me around. Fort Campbell is the home of Air Assault. That's repelling out of helicopters, in case you didn't know. So I'm really hoping I can go to that school and be a part of that tradition and madness.

Perhaps the longer you stay in the Army, the crazier you get...? I'll stay in 20+ years and do the research so you don't have to.

Reenlistment On Hold

I had plans to reenlist for another 4 years in this glorious Army today. However, there was an EFMB emergency and my reenlistment took a back seat to it. I don't know how an emergency for an event that isn't even happening until March disrupted everything, but it sure did.

Before I knew the ceremony wasn't going to happen, I signed my discharge paperwork. I didn't know that you have to be discharged first in order to reenlist. I thought it was pretty cool to see my name under the words Honorable Discharge, since I've never seen that before. Haha.

Since there was no ceremony, I suppose that means I am temporarily not a member of the Armed Services. Which technically means I could go smoke a fat blunt, pierce my face, dye my hair pink and cuss out a few choice individuals.... Of course I won't do that, but I sure as Hell am not going to be at work. I'm taking the day off until I get my damn ceremony tomorrow!