ITLS

I'm taking an ITLS class (International Trauma Life Support) in Hawesville, Kentucky. I had never visited redneck Kentucky before now. Its spectacular.

Hawesville is actually so small that you have to leave the town to go to any establishments that may sell something. You have to cross the river and go to Tell City, Indiana. Tell City is the "big city". That means it has a Walmart.

Road construction in Tell City created a detour through the downtown area. These are the signs posted:
 

 

Literally, it's written in finger paint. It actually looked like blood, but I'll give Tell City the benefit of the doubt and call it finger paint. Downtown also had a line dancing hall and a pawn shop. That summed up Tell City's downtown in a nut shell.

I'm glad I was afforded the opportunity to venture into small town Kentucky to go to this class. It's been eye opening-- and made it apparent that Clarksville, Tennessee isn't nearly as redneck as I originally believed it to be. At least our road construction is legit.

Oral Fluids

This is the scariest and one of the most peculiar signs I have ever seen Army personnel post.

It's so open ended. Why would "oral fluids" have to be specified? What else do you spit? Immediately I questioned if someone spit anal or vaginal fluids into the trash. The sign really bothered me for a few days.

Was spitting the problem? Is vomiting into the trash allowed? Drooling?

Or was it the substance being spat that was the problem? Can I spit food into the trash? How about chewing tobacco? More vomit? Poo?

Like every other warning out there, it had to be done by someone in order to inspire the warning. I wish I had the back story.

More Army Signs

More wonderful signs courtesy of the United States Army!

These signs were found in a bathroom. Sane people do not willingly put themselves in these conditions and just shrug them off as no big deal. Call me crazy... but I love the Army. Even if it will eventually give me a disease.

Army Signs

The Army doesn't always employ rocket scientists, let's just go ahead and throw that one on the table as a fact. Many Soldiers need a lot of guidance and direction to complete even the simplest of tasks. Luckily, in my field as a medic, I am not always subjected to the retardedness directly. Inevitably, it finds itself to me in a round about way....

Like in the form of informational signs.

This is a sign posted above the sinks at the hand washing station at our chow hall. Obviously, it must have been an issue if the giant warning had to be placed. It appears over every other sink to really drive home the point, too. Every time I walk in there I have such a strong desire to start spitting all over the place. I suppose that sign backfired.

And this lovely sign is posted on the outside of every single port-o-potty at JSS Muthana. Same awesome sign every time. I started to wonder what on Earth people were doing in there to make someone post the intended use of a port-o-potty, and then I stopped myself. Perhaps not knowing makes me a better person in the long run.

This last one is an Isralei bandage. They're pretty nifty stretchy bandages. But like all bandages, no matter how fancy, there is one intended use of the white pad on the backside. If you don't know to put the white side toward the wound, may God help you. You, apparently, are not too dumb to work for the Army, but you are too dumb to work anywhere else.