Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to the most wonderful mom I could have ever asked for. Although we don't see each other often, the time we do get is always spent having laughs, wine and good food! I'm very lucky that I can talk to you as a friend and depend on you like a mother. I have the best of both worlds. 

Resting Bitch Face as a baby.

First Selfie with Mommer.

I love you, Mommer. I can't wait to see you this summer! 

Cinco de Mayo

I can get behind any holiday that supports binge eating Mexican food. 

I love Cinco de Mayo. Since it landed on a Thursday, I'm going at it light. I am way too old to gorge myself on tacos and drink roughly 64oz of Dos Equis Amber on a work night. I toned it down. To one plate of delicious Mexican food at my favorite restaurant and one 24oz beer. 

I carb splurged. I really had no choice. It was a holiday. Everyone over eats on a holiday... and I'm American. So duh, I over ate.

I have no self control, someone please save me from myself. 

Rock'n'Roll Half Marathon

I ran the Rock'n'Roll Half Marathon in Nashville today! Finally, after what seems like a million miles of training. 

It poured in Nashville before the race. Like, we had to hide in a car wash to get out of the rain (we were not the only people in there). The race was postponed almost a half an hour to try to avoid having runners on the course during a storm. When it came time to actually run, it wasn't raining anymore, but I was already soaked. My poor shoes and socks were soaked. My worst fear was that the weather was going to do a typical Tennessee thing and rain really hard, then the sun would come out and immediately there would be oppressive humidity. But the sun never really came out. 

Thanks for doing me a solid, Sun. I appreciate it.

I'd say the first 7 miles were pretty easy. I kept a good 9-10 minute pace. Then I decided to grab a little cup of Gatorade and eat a Poweraid energy gel packet. That was probably my worst mistake. I got a horrible cramp in my left side that I couldn't shake the entire rest of the race. It slowed me down considerably. 

But I finished the race. I finished it slower than I had wanted to, but there were more hills in Nashville than I anticipated running up. I'm a slow poke up hills. 

I can't wait to do another one! But first up, I'm going to house this Burger King and take a loooong nap on the couch with some french bulldogs. 

Low Carb Diet

I've put myself on a low carb diet. I started approximately 1 week ago. 

It hasn't been nearly as horrible as I thought it would be. I actually eat more than I would on a low calorie diet. Low calorie is usually the route I go when I diet because it's relatively easy to count calories. But I suck at it. And I rarely see results, which pisses me off, so I quit.

I'd never counted carbs before because I thought it sounded hard. I watched one of my NCOs in Egypt lose an excess of 30lbs while he did the low carb diet. I always partook in his once a month cheat day and ate loads and loads of carbs/calories and watched a marathon of Game of Thrones with him. But I didn't diet with him. This could be part of the problem. I'm always willing to do cheat day, but not willing to diet.

At any rate, for about a week now I have been really good about my carb intake. I downloaded an app called Carb Manager to log everything I eat. It gives me a little pie graph to look at to see where I am with carb intake. I respond well to pie graphs.

Well, 1 week has passed and I weighed myself.

I'm down 4lbs.

Which kicks ass because I have to be officially weighed by the Army next week (following my PT test from last week) and I am within my weight standard so I won't have to be taped to determine my body fat content. I really don't like being taped-- I feel like a cow at auction getting my measurements taken. Its embarrassing,

For breakfast every morning I have been eating hard boiled eggs. I precooked them all so I can take them to work with me. But since today is Saturday, and I am home instead of on Ft Campbell for breakfast, I thought I would throw 2 of the eggs in the microwave to warm them up. I don't mind cold hard boiled eggs, but I thought maybe a warm breakfast would be a nice change.

Apparently you cannot warm hard boiled eggs up for 1 minute in the microwave.

They explode.

The dogs did not mind at all that they exploded. They reaped that benefit completely. The eggs took on a rubbery texture that was unfit for human consumption. But totally up french bulldog consumption alley. 

After I cleaned up the egg spatter that exploded in every direction in the microwave, I was a bit over eating eggs for breakfast. I had pickles instead. Not a great substitute but at least they were the right consistency! 

I'm going to keep up with this relatively strict 30 carbs or less diet a day until I reach my goal. And then I'll back off a bit. But I don't think I'll completely abandon the concept. It's really the only diet I've ever been on that has shown meaningful results. I intend to keep that going.  

Spring PT Test

I took my Spring physical fitness test yesterday. 

I have always been a bit worried about my push up score. Actually, I've ALWAYS been worried about my run score, but lately its been more about the push up score. 

Let me clarify, I am NEVER worried about passing. I could pass any day of the year someone asked me to take a PT test. However, I prefer to study for any test I take. And a few weeks before the scheduled bi-annual PT test, I amp up my push up and sit up performance to make sure I am ready. I work on the run at all times. 

Even though I truly enjoy running... apparently I enjoy running slow!

So my Spring scores are as follows:

What did I just see? Was that at least a 90% in all 3 events? Are you freaking kidding me!?!? That is the first time in my entire career I've done that! 90-90-90 qualifies you for the Physical Fitness Badge. You sew it on you PT uniform. 

I was hoping for a better run time, but I burned myself out doing sit ups (and it was raining, so I love to blame the weather). My push ups were more than I expected so I was really happy with that count. 

One of my Soldiers earned his PT Badge yesterday too. We joked that we are PT Patch Buddies now. The real joke is that only douchebags wear the patch on their uniform. Sorry if I offend anyone, but seriously, you know its stupid. This patch is like a giant neon sign that screams, "EXPECT TOO MUCH FROM ME!" No thanks, I'll pass on that. 

But earning it for the first time after 10 years of service was still a nice milestone to meet. 

Wasp Trap

The weather suddenly became summer this weekend. Spring was approximately a week long, in usual Tennessee fashion. Along with summer came the majority of the bugs that I hate. I already had a june bug attack my head and those disgusting feathery centipedes are coming out the drains in my house. Although those two are gross, they don't pose a threat. The real threat comes in the form of the red wasp. And they are out in droves.

I bought a wasp trap. Its a glass "cage" that has a hole in the bottom. The idea is the wasps crawl up from the bottom to get inside and drink the Dr Pepper that I poured inside. Then they are stupid and can't get out. Or they get drunk off the Dr Pepper and chose to stay forever until they die. Either way, this wasp trap sounded like a great idea.

I put the wasp trap out this morning. I filled the bottom with delicious Dr Pepper. Then I went for a run. When I came back, the first thing I did was check the wasp trap to see if I had caught any. 

Nothing.

A few hours later, I had caught several wasps in my home. They love the kitchen window screen. The window sill is a wasp graveyard (not pictured because it's full of dirt and corpses and I didn't want to advertise how poor of a housekeeper I can be). 

Maybe the wasp trap had caught some?!

Nope. Still nothing. For a second I thought maybe my bait was bad. Perhaps wasps don't like Dr Pepper. But that's crazy talk because everyone likes Dr Pepper. Maybe the placement of the trap is poor. I guess I'll keep checking my trap throughout the day. I know there is NOT a shortage of wasps. Hopefully I'll start catching some soon so fewer of them will end up on my kitchen window screen. 

Cuteness Update

Just a little photo update on how adorable my french bulldogs are.

I'm a really proud dog-mom.

Profile

So I really needed to go to sick call. But I don't do that. I made an appointment at the clinic instead because I would rather miss work than PT. At my appointment... I was put on profile. *gasp* I have not been on a physical limitations profile since I had surgery in 2012. 

Worst of all, I'm on a no running profile. More worst of all, the half marathon is in 1 month. 

I am having very bad bilateral foot pain. I believe its been a long time coming, but running so much over the past couple months aggravated it. But you know what started the aggravation?

A freaking dog toy. 

Gertie with the weapon.

Here you can see the pointy end she gnawed into the bone.

A haphazardly lain dog toy that I didn't see on the floor. One of Gertie's favorites. I jumped up off the couch in a hurry to break up a brutal french bulldog dog fight and stepped on this stupid toy. Its a hard bone that Gertie had widdled into a shank. And really hurt my right foot. Like, I was on the floor writhing in pain Peter Griffin style. That acute injury caused me to compensate, now the other foot hurts too... blah blah blah.

Both my feet hurt so bad. So I had no choice but to go to the doctor.

I convinced my PA that I really only needed 2 weeks of rest. She understood that the half marathon is important to me but also cautioned me not to seriously injure myself in the process. She gave me a 2 week no running profile, prescribed Motrin and sent me to get my feet x-rayed. After the half marathon at the end of April I am to come back so she can set me up for a bone scan.

I've made it nearly 10 years in the Army without a major injury. I've recently gloated about that. Now this happens. 

Thanks, Gertie. 

Earned It

Look what finally came in the mail today:

I completed my Associates in Health Sciences degree in February. But I had to wait until today to actually hold the degree in my hands. 

I accomplished something that most 20 year old kids have! I may have completed this degree a little later in life than I should have, but at least I did it. And I'm not stopping here. I am already enrolled in another degree program. 

I am working towards a Bachelors in Public Health now. Being active duty doesn't leave me a whole lot of extra time to work on college courses but I'm going to plug away at it and maybe before I'm 40 I will earn the next degree (I hope so!).

In the mean time, it's cool to see this posted on my ERB (Enlisted Record Brief) instead of my high school graduation information! 

Too Long Run

I decided it was time for another long run in preparation for the half marathon in April. So I picked a random spot in the back 40 of Ft Campbell to run. On my way to my chosen spot, I noticed a lot of Soldiers out training. One of the 101st Brigades is in the middle of a big field problem and it is running through the weekend. I didn't think it would be a problem, but as I was running along Jordan Springs Road, LMTVs kept speeding past me. In an effort to not die, I made the command decision to find a side road and change my route.

The first side road I came to was called Hellcat Road. I'm familiar with Hellcat Road because it was a land nav boundary road for one of my many EFMB attempts. I had forgotten how hilly it was, though. And it's a dirt and gravel road. Basically, Hellcat started to kick my ass. Hellcat turned into Oriental Road. And then into Destiny Trail. I almost met my destiny on that trail because the hills only got steeper. Destiny kicked my ass. By that point I was at 6 miles at lost in the woods. 

Eventually I saw a stop sign glimmer on the horizon. Civilization at last! Or, at least, a road sign so I could try to get my bearings on where I was. Palmyra Road? I'm familiar with it but nothing looked familiar. So I kept running. Running. Running. I was tired from the all the hills I had just trudged up. After a while I came to another intersection. It was Jordan Springs Road! Now I had a better idea of my location. But I ran into the problem of the LMTVs speeding past me again. Opting out of certain death, I ducked down another side road. This one was unnamed. I should have known better. 

I ran along this dirt and gravel road until I crested a hill and saw a rather large creek in my path. I had no choice but to take my socks and shoes off and wade across to the other side. The water was super cold. As I was putting my socks and shoes back on on the other side, I was thinking about how ridiculous this all was and finally checked my Run Keeper app to see my distance. 8.5 miles. And I had no idea how far from my car I was. I started to scour the GPS map on the app: searching for my start point in relation to my current location. Eventually I was able to trace my path back to my car. Although I couldn't tell exactly how far away I was, at least I had a known route to take to get back. 

I didn't have it in me to run anymore. 8.5 miles of hills was enough for me. So I started walking. Walking. Walking. I walked past a few really old cemeteries. That was pretty neat. I kept walking down this side road (that turned out to be named Ghost Corps Trail) and a stupid LMTV still barreled past me. What crappy luck! No place is safe when 101st is in the field!

Long story short, I ran 8.5 miles of hills today, walked an additional 3 miles of hills and almost got ran over multiple times by LMTVs. Great Saturday on Fort Campbell.