Flying Jellybeans

I hate flies in Iraq. They are giant black jellybeans that sound like they are carrying chainsaws. Do you need a visual? I've got something for that:

These things don't die. We have a bug zapper in our office (delightfully white trashy; it casts a purple hue in our office that makes me feel like I'm at a rave). Some of these giant mutant flies actually get caught in the zapper and get electrocuted several times in a row and the still do not die. They may have lost a foot in the battle for freedom, but they LIVED. The saying goes, "Freedom Isn't Free", and that goes for our insect counterparts as well.

Sometimes I'm too lazy to shake them off because if I shook every time one landed on me I would look like an epileptic or someone with a serious nervous tick. So I watch them a lot. Flies are even more disgusting upon closer investigation. They're always rubbing their filthy little hands together. I think they're plotting against me when they do that. Obviously they are waiting there collecting data on me. These jellybean flies are sent as forward observers on a known suicide mission which brings great honor to them in death. They are skilled and trained in evasion and masters in the art of annoyance.

They all abort their mission once the fly swatter comes off it's hook in the wall. How do they know? Iraq flies are out of control. And they are a 365 pest. No wintertime break from these flying jellybeans.