Omen?

So I've never done this before, not even with EFMB... but I'm 3 days and a 20k road march away from completing Air Assault School... and I may have given myself some bad juju.

 

I bought Air Assault badges. Five of them. Two to sew on to ACUs, two to sew on to OCPs and one shiny silver one for my ASU dress uniform. I'm not sure if buying them was bad luck.

 

 

I really try not to get my hopes up about anything I try in the Army, because EFMB has defeated me in the final hours over and over again. I never bought EFMB badges in the past though. It also wasn't possible for me to buy them since you stay in the field the whole time at EFMB....

 

But with Air Assault, I bought the badges before graduation. I'm nervous but confident. (If that can even be a thing at the same time.)

 

I hope buying them wasn't an omen.

 

That road march makes me so nervous. In the past 2 months I've road marched my ass off to get ready for this. But EFMB has made me so scared of failing. I've got to get this. If anything, so I didn't waste my money on these badges. Plus, I need to save face. I'm really tired of having, "who failed the road march" trail after SSG DeGraf.

Bug BBQ

I woke up early on this fine Independence Day and walked the dogs, weeded a garden and laid some mulch. I stopped to admire my yard work and saw one of the bushes next to my shed looked... a bit thirsty, for lack of a better word. So I went to investigate and see why the bush was so threadbare.

I got real close to the bush and put my face right into this:

 

That's right folks, those are disgusting worm things in cocoons. ALL OVER THE BUSH. There had to be 300 of these awful things hanging off the bush. They were swinging around in their cocoons and poking their gross little heads out. I was horrified.

I didn't know what they were so I googled it to find out. Turns out, they are called Evergreen Bagworms. They lay eggs in cocoon things made out of the organic material of whatever bush they're on. So they are super camouflaged. Then in late June (or the 4th of July) they hatch and these gross worm things stick their heads out of the cocoon and start eating the bush. These jerks almost ate my entire tree. There are so many of them!

My thoughts immediately went to eliminating them. The internet kept suggesting organic ways to get rid of them-- let birds eat them, pick them off with your fingers, get rid of them in May before they hatch.... what happens if it's past May!?!? I wanted these things to die, so screw the organic way.

 

I went to Walmart with murder in mind and bought plant safe insecticide. No where on the label did it specifically say it would kill Bagworms, but it was the best available. I came home and doused the tree. Those little guys immediately sucked back into their bags like little turtles. Although their food source was now covered in poison, I wasn't satisfied that I killed the worms. I gave it time to see if it would produce some results as the insecticide set it.

A few hours later I went back to the bush. Those sons of bitches didn't seem to mind being covered in poison one bit. I exhausted all my bug killing techniques with poison, so I had to call on James to help me. I needed him to bring the big guns.

He inspected the bush, decided that the bush was a lost cause and that we should burn the bugs. I hated the bugs so I agreed.

 

So James made a torch and BBQ'd the bugs. They fell off the bush in a cascade of burned up cocoons. I bet they immediately regretted taking up residency and eating that bush. Once they were all charred, James chopped down the bush and burned it in the firepit. We're not taking any chances that these worms could live and destroy anything else in our yard. Once I'm satisfied they've been eradicated, I will plant a replacement bush in the old one's place.

So much for admiring my yard.

Happy 4th of July. 

Operational Camouflage Pattern

I intended to pop into the Class Six after work to get a case of beer and be on my way home to start my 4 day holiday weekend. But the Class Six is next to Clothing and Sales. I got sucked in, and every time I get sucked in I spend a substantial amount of money.

Catching my eye today, the new Operational Camouflage Pattern (OCP) uniform. It was actively being stocked on the shelves. Fort Campbell was one of the first bases chosen to stock the uniform. I had not intended to buy the new OCP uniform because the wear out date for the ACU (the current uniform) is still a few years out. But something about Clothing and Sales makes me feel like money is no object. I walked down the OCP uniform aisle and they had my size top! And then they had my size pants! Anyone whose ever bought a uniform knows that getting your size top and pants at the same time is nothing short of a miracle. AND it's the new pattern!? Well, this was a not even a decision anymore at this point: I had to buy a uniform. Two, actually.

 

New patterned uniform means new name tapes, new rank, new unit patches, new deployment patches, new PC (hat), new under shirts, new boots.... Holy crap, the list goes on just to get appropriately dressed for work! I'm not quite ready to transition completely to the OCP. So I only ordered name tapes and purchased rank and my unit patch today. I'll slowly acquire everything needed to create 2 full uniforms and then I'll start integrating it into my Army wardrobe. It'll take time (and a few paychecks) to get everything done.

Luck in my favor, I'll get to have Air Assault wings sewn on this new uniform. :)

Oh, and don't worry, I still made it into the Class Six for my case of beer. Clothing and Sales isn't that distracting.

Zero Day: Air Assault

Today was my zero day at Air Assault School. I was really nervous, I'm not going to lie. I've been working towards going to this school for nearly 3 months now and only recently have successfully navigated the obstacle course. So I showed up today, trying to be as positive as possible, but also not getting my hopes up. (I know better than most from previous EFMB failures that getting your hopes up and then failing miserably feels awful.)

But things went well for me today. I somehow managed to pass the obstacle course and didn't have to go back to my unit with my head hung in shame.

I ran my fastest 2 mile run to date-- 16:34! I went up the Confidence Climb faster than I ever have before. I killed the Weaver. I even got over that damn inclined wall on my first try.

 

I had to attempt the Tough One twice, though. The first time I was too worn out to get up the rope. I had just killed the afore mentioned Weaver and I was just worn out. So I was given a few minutes rest time and then I zipped up the rope without any problems. Thank Jesus.

Today was a good day.

 

But not so much for my legs. Look at all the obstacle course trophies I have on my legs! They really took a beating today. My arms don't look so hot either, but at least most of the bruising is camouflaged by my tattoos.

I have 10 more days of Air Assault, so I've only just begun. People say zero day is the hardest day. I guess I'll be finding out soon! I hope my luck keeps holding out.

Tough One

When I hurt my hand earlier this summer, it was because I fell off the top of the rope on the Tough One. The Tough One is one of the obstacles at the Air Assault Obstacle Course. It's also considered a major obstacle so you absolutely have to be able to do it to get past the first day of school. It's been my handicap for a few weeks.

 

 

You've got to climb up the rope and not touch the first horizontal beam with your hands or arms. Once your knees are that high, you can put your knees down on it and transition from the rope to the beams. After you're off the rope, you've got to climb over the upper most horizontal beam. Then there are a series of beams you have to walk across without falling down between them. Next there is a tall ladder structure to ascend, to climb over the top of and then descend the cargo net along the back side.

 

Since I fell off the rope, I've been afraid of it. Imagine that!? Fall all that way down and not want to do it again. Crazy....

 

I've been working at it for a few weeks now: trying to get over the fear. I usually freeze when my face is aligned with the first horizontal beam. But today I worked through it, got past the beams and got my knees onto the platform. FINALLY got my knees on the platform. That was the tricky part for me. But I got it today.

 

I did it pretty quickly, and waited to freak out and be afraid until I transitioned onto the beams. I was by myself today so I had to take a pic from the top to prove my success.

 

 

The Tough One I've been practicing on is not the exact same one that I will do at Air Assault School. They are almost identical, but the school's obstacle course is off limits unless you have permission to be on it. So that one pictured above doesn't have the safety mats underneath it like the one I originally fell off. Glad I didn't fall off today.

 

So proud of myself!!

Frenchie Kisses

 

Frenchie kisses from my little girl.

 

Taking a brief moment out from being totally bad to show some love. Quick, witness it, because Gertie's going back to being a little thug in a few seconds.

Domestic As Fuck

We took down the doors to our little laundry room nook area. They were shitty and calling them doors was really a loose term anyway. I replaced them with curtains. Super cute, matching the existing valance, expensive curtains. I love them. But they were about an inch or so too long. They drug across the floor a little. That made me like them less.

 

I entertained the idea of taking the curtains in to one of the sew shops around here to shorten them. I was hesitant because I had some curtains destroyed doing that. I took my old living room curtains and said, "I need them shortened 16 inches." When I got them back, they were only 16 inches long. I wanted to cry.

 

So I took the shortening of these kitchen curtains into my own hands and I hand hemmed them.

 

 

Above is the first one I did. I sat on the couch and hemmed curtains for almost 2 hours. I was also drinking wine and watching Friends reruns. I felt like a house wife! I even ironed the curtains before they went back up. They look absolutely fabulous. I'm glad I did them myself. The materials to hem them were under $4. To have them professionally shortened (and potentially destroyed) would have been $30. Thrifty win!

 

I can be domestic as fuck.

Message Recieved

Taco Bell sent me a message loud and clear today.

 

 

Since my mom recently joined the 21st century and got and iPhone, I just texted her instead. Yay for moms! And for Taco Bell-- solid advice!

Wasp VS Spider

I was out on our training lane at work today hanging out in the shade because it's approximately a billion degrees at Fort Campbell already. While I was shamming, I saw the most bad ass battle of wills I have ever seen in nature.

 

I noticed a wasp buzzing around erratically in the dirt. So I leaned in to see what the heck it was up to. Well, it was kicking a giant spider's ass, is what it was doing. The spider was on it's back and it was getting stung by the wasp repeatedly. It wasn't really doing much to defend itself (probably because it had been stung a dozen or so times) so I figured it had already died. When suddenly it sprung back onto its feet like a ninja and attacked the wasp right back. The wasp didn't like getting bit and started going totally ape shit, stinging the spider over and over right in the FACE. The spider eventually gave up (but didn't die). The wasp bit the spider on the FACE and dragged its body approximately 10 feet over to a connex and disappeared underneath.

 

Freaking craziness.

 

 

What a bad ass wasp to skull drag a giant spider across the grass. These wasps are all over our training lane. I have new respect (and a sense of terror) for these wasps from here on out. They most certainly do NOT mess around!!

Evolution of my Epic Wound

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to climb a rope about 10 feet up and then fall off? I can tell you from first hand experience, that it is not recommended.

 

I landed on the mats underneath in an explosion of sand and water. I hear it looked pretty cool, but it didn't feel very cool. The only wound I sustained was some wicked rope burn on the palm of my hand. It didn't seem like much at the time, but it was one of the most painful Army wounds I've ever had.

 

Day of wounding



Day 2

Day 4

Day 9

Day 10

Day 12

Day 20

It took 20 days for the last scab to come loose and for all the new pink skin to be smooth.

 

Rope burn is not recommended. Falling is also not recommended. But falling and getting rope burn on a part of your body that you constantly move and bang around is FOR SURE not recommended.

 

PS Only a Medic would photograph the wound healing process and post it on her blog.