Oh, Canada!

This is day one of my travels through British Columbia, Canada. My first time in Canada!

A little confident, aren't we, Canada?

I'm traveling alone due to unforeseen circumstances. I had to leave James in Tacoma with friends. James will meet me in Fairbanks via airplane after I arrive. So I am making the remaining 2,000 miles of our PCS (permanent change of station) with only the frenchies as companions. 

Like I said, this is my first time in Canada. It's only been 1 day, and I've only seen the southern portion of British Columbia, but I've already made some assumptions about Canada and Canadians.

1. So far, Canadians do not have beady eyes and flappy heads. But I'm keeping my eyes peeled. 

Terrance and Phillip

2. Canadians are restless when they have to stop unexpectedly on the highway. I've driven through quite a bit of road work and some of it has caused only one lane to be open. When you have to wait for your turn to drive on the lane, Canadians get out of their cars. They stand and face the road block with their hands on their hips like looking at it is going to make whatever the hold up is go faster or stop or explain itself. 

3. Canada expects A LOT of wildlife to cross the road. I have seen approximately zero animals since I've been here. But the road signs tell me to watch out for deer, elk, caribou, moose, bears and badgers. Wtf. Badgers?

4. Exiting the highway is an "at your own risk" activity. This was no concern for the Canadians who designed the highway system. Exit lanes? Nah, lets just post teeny tiny signs so people have to make very quick decisions about pulling off the road at 65 mph (or about 110 kph). I can't tell you how many times I've needed to stop at a rest stop but I chose life over being rear ended by the person behind me while I suddenly exit. 

I have approximately 3 more days of travel through Canada before I make it to the Alaskan border. I'm sure I'll make more assumptions during that time. Wish me and the frenchies luck on our travels!

Back to Washington

Our PCS adventures en-route to Alaska took us to Washington. 

I have such fond memories of Washington. I always thought I would like to be stationed at Fort Lewis again some day. But I think I am just nostalgic for the people. Because the place is bullshit. Not the whole place, of course. Parts of the state are beautiful and Seattle is really cool and the music scene is totally rad. 

But the traffic. I-5 might be Hell on Earth, Fuck the 5. I don't have the patience for that anymore and Fort Lewis is right in the middle of it. A 45 minute drive to go less than 10 miles makes me want to peel my face off. 

One day near Fort Lewis brought it to my attention that I never want to be stationed there again. No matter how great my memories are. 

And so the PCS journey continues. Onward to Fort Wainwright, Alaska I go!

I'm Back

Alright, so there was a leave of absence from my blog. I didn't think anyone read it. And I was personally losing interest since I have been back in school. But I visited friends and family this summer and everyone was like, "WTF." So, due to overwhelming requests to continue sharing my adventures, here I am. 

I'm between homes right now. That's the nice way of saying homeless. I wouldn't go so far as to refer to myself as a free range human because I am still employed. But I definitely do not have a home. James and I packed the frenchies into my car and we put Fort Campbell in our rear view and Fort Wainwright in the GPS. 

So here we are, en-route to Alaska for a 3 year adventure in the last frontier. 

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to the most wonderful mom I could have ever asked for. Although we don't see each other often, the time we do get is always spent having laughs, wine and good food! I'm very lucky that I can talk to you as a friend and depend on you like a mother. I have the best of both worlds. 

Resting Bitch Face as a baby.

First Selfie with Mommer.

I love you, Mommer. I can't wait to see you this summer! 

Cinco de Mayo

I can get behind any holiday that supports binge eating Mexican food. 

I love Cinco de Mayo. Since it landed on a Thursday, I'm going at it light. I am way too old to gorge myself on tacos and drink roughly 64oz of Dos Equis Amber on a work night. I toned it down. To one plate of delicious Mexican food at my favorite restaurant and one 24oz beer. 

I carb splurged. I really had no choice. It was a holiday. Everyone over eats on a holiday... and I'm American. So duh, I over ate.

I have no self control, someone please save me from myself. 

Rock'n'Roll Half Marathon

I ran the Rock'n'Roll Half Marathon in Nashville today! Finally, after what seems like a million miles of training. 

It poured in Nashville before the race. Like, we had to hide in a car wash to get out of the rain (we were not the only people in there). The race was postponed almost a half an hour to try to avoid having runners on the course during a storm. When it came time to actually run, it wasn't raining anymore, but I was already soaked. My poor shoes and socks were soaked. My worst fear was that the weather was going to do a typical Tennessee thing and rain really hard, then the sun would come out and immediately there would be oppressive humidity. But the sun never really came out. 

Thanks for doing me a solid, Sun. I appreciate it.

I'd say the first 7 miles were pretty easy. I kept a good 9-10 minute pace. Then I decided to grab a little cup of Gatorade and eat a Poweraid energy gel packet. That was probably my worst mistake. I got a horrible cramp in my left side that I couldn't shake the entire rest of the race. It slowed me down considerably. 

But I finished the race. I finished it slower than I had wanted to, but there were more hills in Nashville than I anticipated running up. I'm a slow poke up hills. 

I can't wait to do another one! But first up, I'm going to house this Burger King and take a loooong nap on the couch with some french bulldogs. 

Low Carb Diet

I've put myself on a low carb diet. I started approximately 1 week ago. 

It hasn't been nearly as horrible as I thought it would be. I actually eat more than I would on a low calorie diet. Low calorie is usually the route I go when I diet because it's relatively easy to count calories. But I suck at it. And I rarely see results, which pisses me off, so I quit.

I'd never counted carbs before because I thought it sounded hard. I watched one of my NCOs in Egypt lose an excess of 30lbs while he did the low carb diet. I always partook in his once a month cheat day and ate loads and loads of carbs/calories and watched a marathon of Game of Thrones with him. But I didn't diet with him. This could be part of the problem. I'm always willing to do cheat day, but not willing to diet.

At any rate, for about a week now I have been really good about my carb intake. I downloaded an app called Carb Manager to log everything I eat. It gives me a little pie graph to look at to see where I am with carb intake. I respond well to pie graphs.

Well, 1 week has passed and I weighed myself.

I'm down 4lbs.

Which kicks ass because I have to be officially weighed by the Army next week (following my PT test from last week) and I am within my weight standard so I won't have to be taped to determine my body fat content. I really don't like being taped-- I feel like a cow at auction getting my measurements taken. Its embarrassing,

For breakfast every morning I have been eating hard boiled eggs. I precooked them all so I can take them to work with me. But since today is Saturday, and I am home instead of on Ft Campbell for breakfast, I thought I would throw 2 of the eggs in the microwave to warm them up. I don't mind cold hard boiled eggs, but I thought maybe a warm breakfast would be a nice change.

Apparently you cannot warm hard boiled eggs up for 1 minute in the microwave.

They explode.

The dogs did not mind at all that they exploded. They reaped that benefit completely. The eggs took on a rubbery texture that was unfit for human consumption. But totally up french bulldog consumption alley. 

After I cleaned up the egg spatter that exploded in every direction in the microwave, I was a bit over eating eggs for breakfast. I had pickles instead. Not a great substitute but at least they were the right consistency! 

I'm going to keep up with this relatively strict 30 carbs or less diet a day until I reach my goal. And then I'll back off a bit. But I don't think I'll completely abandon the concept. It's really the only diet I've ever been on that has shown meaningful results. I intend to keep that going.  

Spring PT Test

I took my Spring physical fitness test yesterday. 

I have always been a bit worried about my push up score. Actually, I've ALWAYS been worried about my run score, but lately its been more about the push up score. 

Let me clarify, I am NEVER worried about passing. I could pass any day of the year someone asked me to take a PT test. However, I prefer to study for any test I take. And a few weeks before the scheduled bi-annual PT test, I amp up my push up and sit up performance to make sure I am ready. I work on the run at all times. 

Even though I truly enjoy running... apparently I enjoy running slow!

So my Spring scores are as follows:

What did I just see? Was that at least a 90% in all 3 events? Are you freaking kidding me!?!? That is the first time in my entire career I've done that! 90-90-90 qualifies you for the Physical Fitness Badge. You sew it on you PT uniform. 

I was hoping for a better run time, but I burned myself out doing sit ups (and it was raining, so I love to blame the weather). My push ups were more than I expected so I was really happy with that count. 

One of my Soldiers earned his PT Badge yesterday too. We joked that we are PT Patch Buddies now. The real joke is that only douchebags wear the patch on their uniform. Sorry if I offend anyone, but seriously, you know its stupid. This patch is like a giant neon sign that screams, "EXPECT TOO MUCH FROM ME!" No thanks, I'll pass on that. 

But earning it for the first time after 10 years of service was still a nice milestone to meet. 

Wasp Trap

The weather suddenly became summer this weekend. Spring was approximately a week long, in usual Tennessee fashion. Along with summer came the majority of the bugs that I hate. I already had a june bug attack my head and those disgusting feathery centipedes are coming out the drains in my house. Although those two are gross, they don't pose a threat. The real threat comes in the form of the red wasp. And they are out in droves.

I bought a wasp trap. Its a glass "cage" that has a hole in the bottom. The idea is the wasps crawl up from the bottom to get inside and drink the Dr Pepper that I poured inside. Then they are stupid and can't get out. Or they get drunk off the Dr Pepper and chose to stay forever until they die. Either way, this wasp trap sounded like a great idea.

I put the wasp trap out this morning. I filled the bottom with delicious Dr Pepper. Then I went for a run. When I came back, the first thing I did was check the wasp trap to see if I had caught any. 

Nothing.

A few hours later, I had caught several wasps in my home. They love the kitchen window screen. The window sill is a wasp graveyard (not pictured because it's full of dirt and corpses and I didn't want to advertise how poor of a housekeeper I can be). 

Maybe the wasp trap had caught some?!

Nope. Still nothing. For a second I thought maybe my bait was bad. Perhaps wasps don't like Dr Pepper. But that's crazy talk because everyone likes Dr Pepper. Maybe the placement of the trap is poor. I guess I'll keep checking my trap throughout the day. I know there is NOT a shortage of wasps. Hopefully I'll start catching some soon so fewer of them will end up on my kitchen window screen. 

Cuteness Update

Just a little photo update on how adorable my french bulldogs are.

I'm a really proud dog-mom.